Wendy - "Surely you must have felt love once for something... or someone."
Peter - "Never. Even the sound of it offends me."
Peter - "Why do you have to spoil everything? We have fun, don't we? I taught you to fly and to fight. What more could there be?"
Wendy - "There is so much more."
Peter - "What? What else is there?"
Wendy - "I don't know. I guess it becomes clearer when you grow up."
..................................................................
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you..."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "But when you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
~Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
..............................................................
"Pooh let go of the balloon and down he went.
His fall wasn't graceful at all.
As he turned over and over in the air, he thought,
'Oh, bother! This is what comes of liking honey so much.'"
...............................................................
12.29.2006
12.28.2006
Lessons Learned this Holiday Season:
1. Having a budget at Christmas sucks. But I had one this year, and wouldn't you know that I stuck to it and came withing $30 of my goal. seeing as how I like to find "the perfect thing" for everyone, no matter what the cost... I can't believe that I succeeded. But succeed I did! I DID!
2. If you aren't paying attention, it is quite possible to consume and entire small summer sausage by yourself. Wow. That's really gross.
3. Not everyone gets 2-3 weeks off for Christmas. In fact, most people don't. Why Americans can't be like the Europeans and go on "holiday" for a month, I do not know. But I think we should. Leaving work and driving 10 hours in the dead of night and then heading back to work the day after Christmas ist nicht sehr gute. Oh well. That's life.
4. Careful...If by chance you find yourself driving in the dead of night, screaming/singing in your car, you should pay attention to how fast you are driving.
5. Mitsubishi's can go really fast. Especially downhill.
6. Procrastination tends to be a part of this special time of year, but that doesn't mean you should procrastinate putting gas in your car. The last place you want to find yourself is in the middle of Arkansas, in the middle of the night, 16 miles to the nearest gas station, sweating bullets and praying.
7. For many, the holidays are the most depressing time of year.
8."God as my witness, I will never be hungry again!" ok. I could write a novel on this one. Obviously I finally saw the movie, and honestly, I liked it. However, Scarlett is a bitch. (sorry.. but she is!) I still cannot get over the fact that Rhett could ever love her. Granted, they are two of a kind, but seriously, is that what it takes? Jules and I joke that witchy women are the only ones men ever seem to stay with.. but now I'm really starting to wonder. I mean, there's Rhett: rich, gorgeous,(note: I don't think he's that gorgeous... but for 1939,I suppose he was all the rage), obnoxious.. and he's head over for this woman. He stays with her through her financial distress, emotional breakdowns, and self-obsessed behavior. I supose men may stay around for the chase of things, the allure of an unattainable woman. Whatever. In real life, the man would have left the minute he heard she owed $300 in taxes on her home. And HELLO the woman is obsessed with another man THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I guess that makes her sexy. Hell if I know. The whole thing just makes me mad. Because we all know that she found a way to get him to stay. We all know it. And sure enough, she never was hungry again.
9. Going back to work after Christmas is much worse than returning to school after Christmas.
10. Harry and David pears are AMAZING! Oh my gosh. Yes.
11. Wii may as well market itself as weight-loss tool.
12. When it comes to Christmas dinner, some have ham, others have turkey, but Oklahoman's have prime rib.
13. Braving the mall/movie theatre in your hometown during your christmas vacation is an art in and of itself. The skill of spotting people you know before they spot you and then finding a place to hide is one that very few people have mastered. I myself managed 3 out of 4.. I'd say that's not too bad.
14. Sometimes a tear is needed. There may come a time when you come home at night to your empty house on your empty street and you sit down to eat a piece of meatloaf that you bought shrinkwrapped from the store down the street... you'll go in, sit down at the table, grab your phone and laptop for company, and begin to eat the most salty piece of meatloaf you have ever encountered. Then your cats will begin to bother you, begging for a bite (they are unaware of the high sodium levels, of course) and there you'll sit, and you'll have this strong unexplainable, yet overwhelming urge to cry. Don't be afraid to give in (as if you had a choice). Really, your body needs to deal with the sodium somehow.
15. Moving blows. There's something to be said about packing up your life just to go somewhere else and unpack it again until several months pass when you'll repeat the entire process over and over and over again. "...like a rolling stone." Yeah, feels really crappy Bob, thanks for asking though.
16. Lots of churches talk about "hope" at Christmas. But very few mention the reality that sometimes people do put their hope in Jesus, and they trust Him with the most precious pieces of their soul, even when it doesn't come easy.. and yet it seems He crushes them still.
17. Cell phones are annoying. I don't know how many different ring tones I put up with while shopping, (not to mention the people on their phones in the store "What? suzie wants which color? HUH? Oh, ok.. we'll go with pink... If you're sure!.. ok ok") but geez, hang up and live your life. Sheesh. I'm proud to say that I haven't had my phone a year yet, but so far my opinion of them has remained the same.
18. In general, people really seem to like broccoli casserole.
19. Furniture is overpriced.
20. Some people simply care more than others. Especially about the naming of the 7th and final Harry Potter book. Yay!
21. There are too many songs out there that pressure people about their New Years Eve plans.
22. Patty Griffin's new cd comes out on my birthday. yeah yeah, you're all wondering where the "lesson" is in this.. well, there isn't one. Just thought I'd drop a hint. So I guess the lesson is: Every statement has a meaning... and sometimes people are subliminal.
2. If you aren't paying attention, it is quite possible to consume and entire small summer sausage by yourself. Wow. That's really gross.
3. Not everyone gets 2-3 weeks off for Christmas. In fact, most people don't. Why Americans can't be like the Europeans and go on "holiday" for a month, I do not know. But I think we should. Leaving work and driving 10 hours in the dead of night and then heading back to work the day after Christmas ist nicht sehr gute. Oh well. That's life.
4. Careful...If by chance you find yourself driving in the dead of night, screaming/singing in your car, you should pay attention to how fast you are driving.
5. Mitsubishi's can go really fast. Especially downhill.
6. Procrastination tends to be a part of this special time of year, but that doesn't mean you should procrastinate putting gas in your car. The last place you want to find yourself is in the middle of Arkansas, in the middle of the night, 16 miles to the nearest gas station, sweating bullets and praying.
7. For many, the holidays are the most depressing time of year.
8."God as my witness, I will never be hungry again!" ok. I could write a novel on this one. Obviously I finally saw the movie, and honestly, I liked it. However, Scarlett is a bitch. (sorry.. but she is!) I still cannot get over the fact that Rhett could ever love her. Granted, they are two of a kind, but seriously, is that what it takes? Jules and I joke that witchy women are the only ones men ever seem to stay with.. but now I'm really starting to wonder. I mean, there's Rhett: rich, gorgeous,(note: I don't think he's that gorgeous... but for 1939,I suppose he was all the rage), obnoxious.. and he's head over for this woman. He stays with her through her financial distress, emotional breakdowns, and self-obsessed behavior. I supose men may stay around for the chase of things, the allure of an unattainable woman. Whatever. In real life, the man would have left the minute he heard she owed $300 in taxes on her home. And HELLO the woman is obsessed with another man THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I guess that makes her sexy. Hell if I know. The whole thing just makes me mad. Because we all know that she found a way to get him to stay. We all know it. And sure enough, she never was hungry again.
9. Going back to work after Christmas is much worse than returning to school after Christmas.
10. Harry and David pears are AMAZING! Oh my gosh. Yes.
11. Wii may as well market itself as weight-loss tool.
12. When it comes to Christmas dinner, some have ham, others have turkey, but Oklahoman's have prime rib.
13. Braving the mall/movie theatre in your hometown during your christmas vacation is an art in and of itself. The skill of spotting people you know before they spot you and then finding a place to hide is one that very few people have mastered. I myself managed 3 out of 4.. I'd say that's not too bad.
14. Sometimes a tear is needed. There may come a time when you come home at night to your empty house on your empty street and you sit down to eat a piece of meatloaf that you bought shrinkwrapped from the store down the street... you'll go in, sit down at the table, grab your phone and laptop for company, and begin to eat the most salty piece of meatloaf you have ever encountered. Then your cats will begin to bother you, begging for a bite (they are unaware of the high sodium levels, of course) and there you'll sit, and you'll have this strong unexplainable, yet overwhelming urge to cry. Don't be afraid to give in (as if you had a choice). Really, your body needs to deal with the sodium somehow.
15. Moving blows. There's something to be said about packing up your life just to go somewhere else and unpack it again until several months pass when you'll repeat the entire process over and over and over again. "...like a rolling stone." Yeah, feels really crappy Bob, thanks for asking though.
16. Lots of churches talk about "hope" at Christmas. But very few mention the reality that sometimes people do put their hope in Jesus, and they trust Him with the most precious pieces of their soul, even when it doesn't come easy.. and yet it seems He crushes them still.
17. Cell phones are annoying. I don't know how many different ring tones I put up with while shopping, (not to mention the people on their phones in the store "What? suzie wants which color? HUH? Oh, ok.. we'll go with pink... If you're sure!.. ok ok") but geez, hang up and live your life. Sheesh. I'm proud to say that I haven't had my phone a year yet, but so far my opinion of them has remained the same.
18. In general, people really seem to like broccoli casserole.
19. Furniture is overpriced.
20. Some people simply care more than others. Especially about the naming of the 7th and final Harry Potter book. Yay!
21. There are too many songs out there that pressure people about their New Years Eve plans.
22. Patty Griffin's new cd comes out on my birthday. yeah yeah, you're all wondering where the "lesson" is in this.. well, there isn't one. Just thought I'd drop a hint. So I guess the lesson is: Every statement has a meaning... and sometimes people are subliminal.
12.25.2006
12.16.2006
Sweet Danica,
I hope, in the midst of all your engagements, you find a little time to read His good Word, and to wait at His mercy seat. It is good for us to draw nigh to Him. It is an honour that He permits us to pray; and we shall surely find He is a God hearing prayer. Endeavour to be diligent in the means; yet watch and strive against a legal spirit, which is always aiming to represent Him as a hard master, watching as it were to take advantage of us. But it is far otherwise. His name is Love! He looks upon us with compassion; He knows our frame, and remembers that we are but dust; and when our infirmities prevail, He does not bid us despond, but reminds us that we have an Advocate with the Father, who is able to pity, to pardon, and to save to the uttermost. Think of the names and relations He bears. Does He not call Himself a Saviour, a Shepherd, a Friend, and a Husband? Has He not made known unto us His love, His blood, His righteousness, His promises, His power, and His grace, and all for our encouragement? Away, then, with all doubting, unbelieving thoughts; they will not only distress your heart, but weaken your hands. Take it for granted upon the warrant of His word, that you are His, and He is yours; that He has loved you with an everlasting love, and therefore in loving-kindness has drawn you to Himself; that He will surely accomplish that which He has begun, and that nothing which can be named or thought of shall ever be able to separate you from Him. This persuasion will give you strength for the battle; this is the shield which will quench the fiery darts of Satan; this is the helmet which the enemy cannot pierce. Whereas, if we go forth doubting and fearing, and are afraid to trust any farther than we can feel, we are weak as water, and easily overcome. Be strong, therefore, not in yourself, but in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Pray for me, and believe me to be,
Yours,
John Newton
May 31, 1769
Yours,
John Newton
May 31, 1769
12.15.2006
And you give yourself away...
So after having a melt down in my car for 45 minutes last night and then going to work this morning and having to leave, I am now sitting at home wondering what the hell I am doing.
I do not want this life.
I do not want this story.
And there’s nothing I can do about.
I need to go away. Somewhere far, far away and never come back.
I'm not sure I want exile, but maybe exile is what I need.
Basically I’ve been planning my, “daring daylight escape” if you will.
What’s a girl to do? It’s crazy to go on living life wishing semi’s would tip over on you on your drive home... so the answer is simple: go where the semi’s are few. I’m not sure where that is yet. But I have a few ideas.
As it is, Christmas is almost here. I’m so behind. I’m just not in the mood. All that shopping, and buying and selling, and sales pitching, and sad music, and cold weather, and advertisements everywhere. Can’t I just sleep through it? Go to sleep tonight and wake up later? Or never. Whatever. I like sleep.
Anyways Christmas means that New Years is coming, and New Years means “future.”
Following that logic, I was thinking about Christmas, then New Years, then “the future” and that’s how I got to planning my “daring daylight escape.”
****note: i don’t know why I put in the paragraph about Christmas... I know it doesn’t fit. It simply came out and appeared on the screen, so I decided to leave it to see if I could come up with an appropriate segue for it... I think I did pretty good.
Anyways...I was thinking about the upcoming year and how at this point it’s looking like nothing more than 12 decembers in a row with a mere weather change from month to month and less decorations and depressing music. Different, but not better, right? Sadly, I’m running out of patience with ”different.”
I did not plan for this. Like an idiot I did not shelter any hidden corners of myself to pull out in case my life turned out this way, and I am paying for that in so many ways now. I’ve lived long enough to know that change is the only thing a person can count on. I don’t know what I was thinking.
You’d think I would simply figure it out. It’s amazing, really, how against all odds and common sense I can continue to leave myself open for this. I’m desperately trying to change my ways. It’s making me into someone I don’t want to be, but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t keep hurting like this anymore. I can’t...and I know it sounds melodramatic, and I hope to God that in a few months I will look back and think that it is.. but it’s just where I am right now.
They say that “when the soul wants, the soul waits.” But what if your soul wants nothing? Or if it's just flat out confused and demented? I’m not missing pieces. I don’t feel like I’m awaiting some huge life lesson or personal enlightenment. I’m not “searching” for anything.
I just want to get beyond this.. this.. whatever this place is. And I don’t know what the “beyond” looks like. What it is, what it means, what it will be, when the hell it’s coming, etc. I just don’t know.
Supposedly a lady “always knows when to leave.” Ya know, the whole “you must always know how long to stay, and when to go.” Well I’ve never been much of a “lady,” but each day it’s becoming more and more apparent that I have worn out my welcome just about everywhere. And that’s not to say that I’m being ignored or mistreated or something, because I’m not. (It’s not you, It’s me. You’re awesome. etc etc... cliches 1, 2 and 3)...It’s just that I don’t work anymore. I don’t fit. I don’t belong. And it’s my fault. Maybe I am awaiting personal enlightenment in some ways. I do have a lot to learn. As long as I’m the girl who protects everyone’s heart except her own, then I will continue to find myself in this predicament over, and over, and over again. And I can only start over so many times.
But I’ll get it right this time. I’ll go to work, pay my bills, attend the parties, smile for the pictures and so-on and so-forth... but a day is coming when I will simply walk away and be the one to leave everyone else behind for once.
It’s time to grow up.
I have to get it right. I have to.
My heart and head can’t stay stupid forever.
Crazy how a reason not to do something can quickly turn into just as good a reason to do it.
I don’t claim to have it all figured out... quite the opposite actually. All I know is that I can’t keep doing this. I don’t know why I’ve received the life of a walking corpse, but something has got to give. Cigarettes and too much sleep can only divert a person for so long. I keep trying. So hard. But I just can’t anymore. I guess I’m just way too emotional, and I hate that about myself. I hate that I just can’t ignore situations into oblivion or something. What’s that awful band that growls that song about how their weakness is that they care too much? Bad execution, but good point. Hate to say that I know the feeling.
It kills me because now I am basically screwing myself since I can’t seem to pull myself out of this. Nothing is happening, it’s just self perpetuating and I feel like I am the only one who can step in and stop it, and I keep trying but it keeps going and I keep getting hit: I sleep all the time, but I’m tired. I’m with people most of the time, but I’m lonely. It doesn’t make sense. And no “good thing” or “good person” or “good anything” is going to want to come anywhere near me because I’m having extreme difficulty believing in “good” anythings. I’m struggling. It has to get better. Not just different. Better. Now.
I don’t even know why I waste my time posting anymore. I’m not looking for replies or advice from anyone; and I’m sure as hell not out for anyones sympathy. By now I’ve had enough sympathy for a lifetime, thanks. I guess, if anything, this can serve as proof that I am not as “strong” and “fine” and “together” and “Great” as everyone thinks I am.
Maybe it’s just that 5 years worth of posting have made it a habit now, or maybe it’s just nice to know that this way I can say it all without having to physically say anything, or that maybe some stranger will stroll by and relate to something I’ve said and they can leave feeling a little less lonely, or perhaps it’s just because I have nothing better to do.. except sleep. Sleep is always good.
It’s waking up that’s rough.
Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.
Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy.
You keep trying to be.
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.
Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you're doing wrong
Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."
I do not want this life.
I do not want this story.
And there’s nothing I can do about.
I need to go away. Somewhere far, far away and never come back.
I'm not sure I want exile, but maybe exile is what I need.
Basically I’ve been planning my, “daring daylight escape” if you will.
What’s a girl to do? It’s crazy to go on living life wishing semi’s would tip over on you on your drive home... so the answer is simple: go where the semi’s are few. I’m not sure where that is yet. But I have a few ideas.
As it is, Christmas is almost here. I’m so behind. I’m just not in the mood. All that shopping, and buying and selling, and sales pitching, and sad music, and cold weather, and advertisements everywhere. Can’t I just sleep through it? Go to sleep tonight and wake up later? Or never. Whatever. I like sleep.
Anyways Christmas means that New Years is coming, and New Years means “future.”
Following that logic, I was thinking about Christmas, then New Years, then “the future” and that’s how I got to planning my “daring daylight escape.”
****note: i don’t know why I put in the paragraph about Christmas... I know it doesn’t fit. It simply came out and appeared on the screen, so I decided to leave it to see if I could come up with an appropriate segue for it... I think I did pretty good.
Anyways...I was thinking about the upcoming year and how at this point it’s looking like nothing more than 12 decembers in a row with a mere weather change from month to month and less decorations and depressing music. Different, but not better, right? Sadly, I’m running out of patience with ”different.”
I did not plan for this. Like an idiot I did not shelter any hidden corners of myself to pull out in case my life turned out this way, and I am paying for that in so many ways now. I’ve lived long enough to know that change is the only thing a person can count on. I don’t know what I was thinking.
You’d think I would simply figure it out. It’s amazing, really, how against all odds and common sense I can continue to leave myself open for this. I’m desperately trying to change my ways. It’s making me into someone I don’t want to be, but I don’t know what else to do. I can’t keep hurting like this anymore. I can’t...and I know it sounds melodramatic, and I hope to God that in a few months I will look back and think that it is.. but it’s just where I am right now.
They say that “when the soul wants, the soul waits.” But what if your soul wants nothing? Or if it's just flat out confused and demented? I’m not missing pieces. I don’t feel like I’m awaiting some huge life lesson or personal enlightenment. I’m not “searching” for anything.
I just want to get beyond this.. this.. whatever this place is. And I don’t know what the “beyond” looks like. What it is, what it means, what it will be, when the hell it’s coming, etc. I just don’t know.
Supposedly a lady “always knows when to leave.” Ya know, the whole “you must always know how long to stay, and when to go.” Well I’ve never been much of a “lady,” but each day it’s becoming more and more apparent that I have worn out my welcome just about everywhere. And that’s not to say that I’m being ignored or mistreated or something, because I’m not. (It’s not you, It’s me. You’re awesome. etc etc... cliches 1, 2 and 3)...It’s just that I don’t work anymore. I don’t fit. I don’t belong. And it’s my fault. Maybe I am awaiting personal enlightenment in some ways. I do have a lot to learn. As long as I’m the girl who protects everyone’s heart except her own, then I will continue to find myself in this predicament over, and over, and over again. And I can only start over so many times.
But I’ll get it right this time. I’ll go to work, pay my bills, attend the parties, smile for the pictures and so-on and so-forth... but a day is coming when I will simply walk away and be the one to leave everyone else behind for once.
It’s time to grow up.
I have to get it right. I have to.
My heart and head can’t stay stupid forever.
Crazy how a reason not to do something can quickly turn into just as good a reason to do it.
I don’t claim to have it all figured out... quite the opposite actually. All I know is that I can’t keep doing this. I don’t know why I’ve received the life of a walking corpse, but something has got to give. Cigarettes and too much sleep can only divert a person for so long. I keep trying. So hard. But I just can’t anymore. I guess I’m just way too emotional, and I hate that about myself. I hate that I just can’t ignore situations into oblivion or something. What’s that awful band that growls that song about how their weakness is that they care too much? Bad execution, but good point. Hate to say that I know the feeling.
It kills me because now I am basically screwing myself since I can’t seem to pull myself out of this. Nothing is happening, it’s just self perpetuating and I feel like I am the only one who can step in and stop it, and I keep trying but it keeps going and I keep getting hit: I sleep all the time, but I’m tired. I’m with people most of the time, but I’m lonely. It doesn’t make sense. And no “good thing” or “good person” or “good anything” is going to want to come anywhere near me because I’m having extreme difficulty believing in “good” anythings. I’m struggling. It has to get better. Not just different. Better. Now.
I don’t even know why I waste my time posting anymore. I’m not looking for replies or advice from anyone; and I’m sure as hell not out for anyones sympathy. By now I’ve had enough sympathy for a lifetime, thanks. I guess, if anything, this can serve as proof that I am not as “strong” and “fine” and “together” and “Great” as everyone thinks I am.
Maybe it’s just that 5 years worth of posting have made it a habit now, or maybe it’s just nice to know that this way I can say it all without having to physically say anything, or that maybe some stranger will stroll by and relate to something I’ve said and they can leave feeling a little less lonely, or perhaps it’s just because I have nothing better to do.. except sleep. Sleep is always good.
It’s waking up that’s rough.
Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.
Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy.
You keep trying to be.
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.
Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you're doing wrong
Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."
12.13.2006
Life after college. (part duece)
In keeping with the last post I thought I would give you an exclusive glimpse into an evening in the life of a recently employed college grad.
Without further ado....my evening:
Today I left work around 4:45ish. It would have been sooner but as I was attempting to make my break through the store I was cornered, about 5 feet from the exit, by several old ladies who wanted to know the price on about 60 different items (memo to world: Danica does not work in the store. She does not price or sell anything. Her office is at the back, which means she must pass through the store in order to reach her car and go home. I'm sure she is glad that senior citizens are getting 1/2 off today, but really, let the child go home!)
After braving the Nashville "traffic" I arrived home where I said hello to the cats and helped my roommate select his wardrobe for the evening. Before I knew it, I had the house to myself. It was a bit loneseome so I wandered around a bit and did mature, responsible things like avoid all of my dishes in the sink, ignore the laundry on my floor, and neglect all of the packing I need to do.
Around 8:30 i decided I should eat dinner so I sat on my porch and had a clove and some cookies. (so attractive, I know)
Once I was cold I went back inside and decided to take a bath, so I proceeded to soak, shave and eat popcorn for about an hour till I was nice and warm. During that time I started thinking about specific things that I have learned about myself recently. For example:
-I am an organized person. I like things ordered and filed and in their proper places..etc.. HOWEVER.. at the same time, I'm kinda a slob about some stuff. Like dishes. I really don't like doing dishes. (actually i don't mind once I start.. it's the starting that gets me).. And laundry. I will do laundry.. but I hate folding it. it generally gets washed and then sits in a basket on my floor until all of it is dirty again. (there's that attractiveness again)
-I am a nerd. I've always known this, but once I started this job it became even more clear. I'll admit, I always secretly loved the assignment in RA training where we were given a list of like 25 things we had to do and the time frames in which to do them and we had to come up with the best order of operations.. I am a pro at this. No lie. I do it at work all the time. I'll make a list of gaols for the week, and generally I can get half to 3/4ths of it done in a day. This could be due to the fact that there is something in me that goes crazy if I'm not doing at least 3 things at once. Who knows.
-I don't like cigarettes... but I have a weakness for cloves, and while I don't consider myself a "smoker" I have noticed that they calm me down.
-I don't like beer. I really don't understand how anyone does.
-I like to cook but I don't like cooking for just me and I would probably enjoy cooking even more if I didn't have to clean the dishes afterwards.Yeah I already mentioned the dishes thing.
-I believe I am incapable of going more than one day without hitting the snooze button. I even purposely set my alarm so that I have time to hit it. That doesn't make sense. Why don't I just set the alarm for as late as I want to sleep and then force myself to get up? I've tried that, and I still hit snooze. I'm a freak.
-For those of you who were unaware: hair not on the head (and celery), is disgusting. I am not a fan. Hair belongs on the head or in the trash. Celery belongs no where. End of story.
-I rarely ever feel like playing board games, but I almost always enjoy them once I start playing. Again, it's one of those, "once-I-start-it's-all-good" things. Maybe I'm just not good at starting things.
-Shopping and decorating make me frustrated. I like to do both but only in small amounts. I think it's the options. There are too many options, and I can go in and think I know what I want and then be dettered because I see 20 other things that seem just as nice and then I am all flustered and I don't know what to do and I get scared that I'll pick something that I won't like later and before I know it I regret even coming to the store.
Woah woah woah.. wait... wasn't this post about my evening? I think so.
Let's continue....
After the tub I "played" guitar for a bit and then I wound up here, in bed with VS sweat pants and a men's dress shirt on sitting in front of the computer typing. (again with the attractiveness... heck yes.)
Yay for post-college life.
It may sound boring, but this is the first night this week that I haven't had some sort of party going on, so it was kinda nice to have nothing to do.
AND (i'm about to let you in on a huge bonus here) I'm enjoying one of my new favorite things:
Coffee Mate makes this new creamer called "coconut creme" and it is to DIE for. Especially in sugar free hot chocolate (which is how I am enjoying it now.)
Mmmm yum.
Pictures to say "good-night" with:
Without further ado....my evening:
Today I left work around 4:45ish. It would have been sooner but as I was attempting to make my break through the store I was cornered, about 5 feet from the exit, by several old ladies who wanted to know the price on about 60 different items (memo to world: Danica does not work in the store. She does not price or sell anything. Her office is at the back, which means she must pass through the store in order to reach her car and go home. I'm sure she is glad that senior citizens are getting 1/2 off today, but really, let the child go home!)
After braving the Nashville "traffic" I arrived home where I said hello to the cats and helped my roommate select his wardrobe for the evening. Before I knew it, I had the house to myself. It was a bit loneseome so I wandered around a bit and did mature, responsible things like avoid all of my dishes in the sink, ignore the laundry on my floor, and neglect all of the packing I need to do.
Around 8:30 i decided I should eat dinner so I sat on my porch and had a clove and some cookies. (so attractive, I know)
Once I was cold I went back inside and decided to take a bath, so I proceeded to soak, shave and eat popcorn for about an hour till I was nice and warm. During that time I started thinking about specific things that I have learned about myself recently. For example:
-I am an organized person. I like things ordered and filed and in their proper places..etc.. HOWEVER.. at the same time, I'm kinda a slob about some stuff. Like dishes. I really don't like doing dishes. (actually i don't mind once I start.. it's the starting that gets me).. And laundry. I will do laundry.. but I hate folding it. it generally gets washed and then sits in a basket on my floor until all of it is dirty again. (there's that attractiveness again)
-I am a nerd. I've always known this, but once I started this job it became even more clear. I'll admit, I always secretly loved the assignment in RA training where we were given a list of like 25 things we had to do and the time frames in which to do them and we had to come up with the best order of operations.. I am a pro at this. No lie. I do it at work all the time. I'll make a list of gaols for the week, and generally I can get half to 3/4ths of it done in a day. This could be due to the fact that there is something in me that goes crazy if I'm not doing at least 3 things at once. Who knows.
-I don't like cigarettes... but I have a weakness for cloves, and while I don't consider myself a "smoker" I have noticed that they calm me down.
-I don't like beer. I really don't understand how anyone does.
-I like to cook but I don't like cooking for just me and I would probably enjoy cooking even more if I didn't have to clean the dishes afterwards.Yeah I already mentioned the dishes thing.
-I believe I am incapable of going more than one day without hitting the snooze button. I even purposely set my alarm so that I have time to hit it. That doesn't make sense. Why don't I just set the alarm for as late as I want to sleep and then force myself to get up? I've tried that, and I still hit snooze. I'm a freak.
-For those of you who were unaware: hair not on the head (and celery), is disgusting. I am not a fan. Hair belongs on the head or in the trash. Celery belongs no where. End of story.
-I rarely ever feel like playing board games, but I almost always enjoy them once I start playing. Again, it's one of those, "once-I-start-it's-all-good" things. Maybe I'm just not good at starting things.
-Shopping and decorating make me frustrated. I like to do both but only in small amounts. I think it's the options. There are too many options, and I can go in and think I know what I want and then be dettered because I see 20 other things that seem just as nice and then I am all flustered and I don't know what to do and I get scared that I'll pick something that I won't like later and before I know it I regret even coming to the store.
Woah woah woah.. wait... wasn't this post about my evening? I think so.
Let's continue....
After the tub I "played" guitar for a bit and then I wound up here, in bed with VS sweat pants and a men's dress shirt on sitting in front of the computer typing. (again with the attractiveness... heck yes.)
Yay for post-college life.
It may sound boring, but this is the first night this week that I haven't had some sort of party going on, so it was kinda nice to have nothing to do.
AND (i'm about to let you in on a huge bonus here) I'm enjoying one of my new favorite things:
Coffee Mate makes this new creamer called "coconut creme" and it is to DIE for. Especially in sugar free hot chocolate (which is how I am enjoying it now.)
Mmmm yum.
Pictures to say "good-night" with:
Life after college.
So I've been out of college for 6 months now and I figure that entitles me to a party and some opinions about college and post-college life.
Opinion #1: College is way more fun than real life... but it's not real life. Almost, but not quite. Live the dream, stay in school forever!
Opinion #2: As I predicted at the beginning of my junior year, grades really don't mean a whole lot unless you are continuing on to grad school, and 9 times out of 10 it's the degree that counts, not the major.
Opinion #3: It's a lot easier to skip class than it is to skip work. Take advantage of it while you can! *Side note: the irony is, that depending on where you work it could cost less to miss a day of work than it does to skip a class a Belmont.... hmm interesting.
Opinion #4: Personally, I like the randomness of college vs. the structure of the 8:00-4:30.. but at the same time, it is kinda nice to survive off of 1 job and not 2-3 part-time jobs plus class.
Opinion #5: Sometimes you take a job to pay the bills. Sometimes that job has nothing to do with your major (see opinion #2), but often that job is the reason you can afford to pursue and have time for your hobbies/former major.
Opinion #6: Searching for post-college jobs totally and utterly blows. It's probably one of the most stressful things ever, right next to planning a wedding. God help you if both happen at once. (=)humor humor) But seriously...if you have any financial commitments at all... just be ready... out in post-college world nothing is certain. Nothing is safe and no one is garaunteed anything. Can't wait to graduate now, can you?
Opinion #7: Don't be surprised when some of the better paying jobs don't require a degree at all. They are out there. They are growing in number, and they really don't care that you went to school. Sorry.
Opinion #8: One of the perks of post college life is that if you go the "day job" route, you never have to miss a party unless you want to. because hey, you are done with work at 4:30.. that's it, no more till 8am. yay. However, the downside to this is that sometimes you get off work and the last thing you want to do is party... it's a risk you take I guess.
Opinion #9: Surprisingly (and I can't believe that i am saying this) going to work at 8am is nowhere near as hard as going to class at 8am was. I couldn't do that to save my life, and now I do it everyday. Weird! (ok, so maybe I am late to work everyday.. but not by that much!)
Opinion #10: When you start your first job right out of college, some coworkers might tease you by saying things like "you're so college." They might call you "baby" or "calendar girl"...Don' take offense when this happens.. just smile and make a vague reference to your parents or to the year of your birth.. ex: "That's a nice shirt you have on, my dad has one just like it."
Opinion #11: Insurance companies are the equivalent of yous universities financial aid office. They don't do much besides make things more complicated.
Opinion #12: Applying for housing outside of college is a delicate process. Be prepared to feel like a child when the credit check company calls.
I'm sure I've got more in me somewhere... I'll get around to it eventually. But that should be enough to chew on for now!
So... when's my party?
Opinion #1: College is way more fun than real life... but it's not real life. Almost, but not quite. Live the dream, stay in school forever!
Opinion #2: As I predicted at the beginning of my junior year, grades really don't mean a whole lot unless you are continuing on to grad school, and 9 times out of 10 it's the degree that counts, not the major.
Opinion #3: It's a lot easier to skip class than it is to skip work. Take advantage of it while you can! *Side note: the irony is, that depending on where you work it could cost less to miss a day of work than it does to skip a class a Belmont.... hmm interesting.
Opinion #4: Personally, I like the randomness of college vs. the structure of the 8:00-4:30.. but at the same time, it is kinda nice to survive off of 1 job and not 2-3 part-time jobs plus class.
Opinion #5: Sometimes you take a job to pay the bills. Sometimes that job has nothing to do with your major (see opinion #2), but often that job is the reason you can afford to pursue and have time for your hobbies/former major.
Opinion #6: Searching for post-college jobs totally and utterly blows. It's probably one of the most stressful things ever, right next to planning a wedding. God help you if both happen at once. (=)humor humor) But seriously...if you have any financial commitments at all... just be ready... out in post-college world nothing is certain. Nothing is safe and no one is garaunteed anything. Can't wait to graduate now, can you?
Opinion #7: Don't be surprised when some of the better paying jobs don't require a degree at all. They are out there. They are growing in number, and they really don't care that you went to school. Sorry.
Opinion #8: One of the perks of post college life is that if you go the "day job" route, you never have to miss a party unless you want to. because hey, you are done with work at 4:30.. that's it, no more till 8am. yay. However, the downside to this is that sometimes you get off work and the last thing you want to do is party... it's a risk you take I guess.
Opinion #9: Surprisingly (and I can't believe that i am saying this) going to work at 8am is nowhere near as hard as going to class at 8am was. I couldn't do that to save my life, and now I do it everyday. Weird! (ok, so maybe I am late to work everyday.. but not by that much!)
Opinion #10: When you start your first job right out of college, some coworkers might tease you by saying things like "you're so college." They might call you "baby" or "calendar girl"...Don' take offense when this happens.. just smile and make a vague reference to your parents or to the year of your birth.. ex: "That's a nice shirt you have on, my dad has one just like it."
Opinion #11: Insurance companies are the equivalent of yous universities financial aid office. They don't do much besides make things more complicated.
Opinion #12: Applying for housing outside of college is a delicate process. Be prepared to feel like a child when the credit check company calls.
I'm sure I've got more in me somewhere... I'll get around to it eventually. But that should be enough to chew on for now!
So... when's my party?
12.11.2006
12.08.2006
12.06.2006
A Christmas List:
(hey, everyone else did it!)
11 Gifts to make Danica smile this Christmas:
1. A home with a low rent payment that's not BFE.
2. New brake pads and rotors for Senorita Diabla.
3. Visors for Senorita Diabla.
4. A "We All Have AIDS" shirt (size small) CLICK HERE TO ORDER
5. IKEA gift cards. mm yummy.
6. Jeans that fit.
7. The dark brown moccasins from Target.
8. A years supply of cat food, kitty litter, laundry detergent, and gas for my car. =)
9. Fight Club. End Scene. Sallie Mae. You figure it out.
10. 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper.
11. Hope in the Dark or the newest POSTSECRET book. (or both =) )
11 Gifts to make Danica smile this Christmas:
1. A home with a low rent payment that's not BFE.
2. New brake pads and rotors for Senorita Diabla.
3. Visors for Senorita Diabla.
4. A "We All Have AIDS" shirt (size small) CLICK HERE TO ORDER
5. IKEA gift cards. mm yummy.
6. Jeans that fit.
7. The dark brown moccasins from Target.
8. A years supply of cat food, kitty litter, laundry detergent, and gas for my car. =)
9. Fight Club. End Scene. Sallie Mae. You figure it out.
10. 12 pack of Diet Dr. Pepper.
11. Hope in the Dark or the newest POSTSECRET book. (or both =) )
12.04.2006
A Day in the Life...
So my morning started out with too much coffee and a cold drive to work which led me to see the most awesome bumper sticker EVER:
"Russell terriers -- they're football-shaped for a reason."
Ahh smiles.
Work was steady through the morning, but the afternoon found me sitting listening to a sales pitch from a radio station account exectuive.
That's right. There I was listening to this poor girl trying to convince me of the joys of radio advertising. Haha. Ahh the irony that she probably had no idea that I've had to create a radio promotion campaign. The whole time I was sitting there thinking "Wow. I'm glad I don't have this girls job." Her whole income depends on how many people she can convince to buy advertising. She did a great job. But I'm so accustomed to being the one trying to get sell stuff that it was bizarre to be the person being plugged to.
So after she left, while I was reveling in my position of "status," a man came in and started asking me questions. Next thing I know he's commenting on my shoes telling me his girlfriend has red ones "just like them!" THEN he starts asking me to hold me hand out and stretch my fingers out as far as I can, and THEN he asks if I can do that with my toes, and would I take off my shoes and socks so he can see?
Seriously. I could not make this stuff up.
He started getting out his phone wanting to take pictures.
No joke.
ya'll...it was so strange.
I felt oddly uncomfortable.. and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte goes in to try on shoes and meets the salesperson with the foot fetish...
oh man.
I don't know how these people find me.
"Russell terriers -- they're football-shaped for a reason."
Ahh smiles.
Work was steady through the morning, but the afternoon found me sitting listening to a sales pitch from a radio station account exectuive.
That's right. There I was listening to this poor girl trying to convince me of the joys of radio advertising. Haha. Ahh the irony that she probably had no idea that I've had to create a radio promotion campaign. The whole time I was sitting there thinking "Wow. I'm glad I don't have this girls job." Her whole income depends on how many people she can convince to buy advertising. She did a great job. But I'm so accustomed to being the one trying to get sell stuff that it was bizarre to be the person being plugged to.
So after she left, while I was reveling in my position of "status," a man came in and started asking me questions. Next thing I know he's commenting on my shoes telling me his girlfriend has red ones "just like them!" THEN he starts asking me to hold me hand out and stretch my fingers out as far as I can, and THEN he asks if I can do that with my toes, and would I take off my shoes and socks so he can see?
Seriously. I could not make this stuff up.
He started getting out his phone wanting to take pictures.
No joke.
ya'll...it was so strange.
I felt oddly uncomfortable.. and the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about that Sex and the City episode where Charlotte goes in to try on shoes and meets the salesperson with the foot fetish...
oh man.
I don't know how these people find me.
12.03.2006
Danica,
...I pray that you may be enabled more and more to honour the Lord by believing His promise: for He is not like a man that should fail or change, or be prevented by anything unforeseen from doing what He has said. And yet we find it easier to trust to worms than to the God of truth. Is it not so with you? And I can assure you it is often so with me. But here is the mercy, that His ways are above ours, as the heavens are higher than the earth. Though we are foolish and unbelieving, He remains faithful; He will not deny Himself. I recommend to you especially that promise of God, which is so comprehensive that it takes in all our concernments, I mean, that all things shall work together for good. How hard is it to believe, that not only those things which are grievous to the flesh, but even those things which draw forth our corruptions, and discover to us what is in our hearts, and fill us with guilt and shame, should in the issue work for our good! Yet the Lord has said it. All your pains and trials, all that befalls you in your own person, or that affects you upon the account of others, shall in the end prove to your advantage. And your peace does not depend upon any change of circumstance which may appear desirable, but in having your will bowed to the Lord's will, and made willing to submit all to His disposal and management. Pray for this, and wait patiently for Him, and He will do it. Be not surprised to find yourself poor, helpless, and vile; all whom He favours and teaches will find themselves so. The more grace increases, the more we shall see to abase us in our own eyes; and this will make the Saviour and His salvation more precious to us. He takes His own wise methods to humble you, and to prove you, and I am sure He will do you good in the end.
- John newton
- John newton
12.02.2006
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!
DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!??!!?!?!?
UCLA BEATS USC!
THE UPSET OF THE YEAR!!
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IT WAS DEAFENING.
IT WAS... IT WAS... SO MANY THINGS!!
OH MY GOSH!
PRICELESS.
PRICELESS.
THAT'S RIGHT USC... GO CRY. GO.
(and by the way, do you know how hard it is to jump up and down screaming with your hands over your mouth all while trying not to wake a sleeping child down the hall?)
Now for the Big 12 championship....
What a night.
Gracious.
DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!??!!?!?!?
UCLA BEATS USC!
THE UPSET OF THE YEAR!!
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
IT WAS DEAFENING.
IT WAS... IT WAS... SO MANY THINGS!!
OH MY GOSH!
PRICELESS.
PRICELESS.
THAT'S RIGHT USC... GO CRY. GO.
(and by the way, do you know how hard it is to jump up and down screaming with your hands over your mouth all while trying not to wake a sleeping child down the hall?)
Now for the Big 12 championship....
What a night.
Gracious.
Did I mention?
While dining back in the OKC I had the priviledge of sitting one table away from the former mayor...
BUT THAT'S NOT THE AWESOME PART!
The AWESOME part is that I was also at the table across from Mr. B.C. CLARK HIMSELF!!
For those of you who don't know... BCClarks is this famous jewelry store in Oklahoma. They've been around since 1892. They do cool stuff. They'll give you your engagement ring for free if it rains an inch or more in Oklahoma City on your wedding Day. No joke. Get the ring there and have your wedding anywhere in the world and if it rains more than an inch in OKC you get the ring for free.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE AWESOME PART!
The AWESOME part is that they have this jingle.
That's right: jingle.
And they play it every Christmas Season to promote their Anniversary Sale.
Every true Oklahoman can sing you the BCCLark jingle.
In fact, many have because BCCLark's takes a camera to the mall and records people singing it and uses the footage for their commercials.
As many of you know, being in the BCClark's commercial is on my 101in1001 list.
I wish I could tell you that in a moment of bravery I marched up to the 90+ year old man and interrupted his family brunch to inquire when the cameras would be hitting the malls... but alas, I did nothing of the sort.
I merely sat there. Freaking out. Looking really cool.
The end.
And then I found $5.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE AWESOME PART!
The AWESOME part is that I was also at the table across from Mr. B.C. CLARK HIMSELF!!
For those of you who don't know... BCClarks is this famous jewelry store in Oklahoma. They've been around since 1892. They do cool stuff. They'll give you your engagement ring for free if it rains an inch or more in Oklahoma City on your wedding Day. No joke. Get the ring there and have your wedding anywhere in the world and if it rains more than an inch in OKC you get the ring for free.
BUT THAT'S NOT THE AWESOME PART!
The AWESOME part is that they have this jingle.
That's right: jingle.
And they play it every Christmas Season to promote their Anniversary Sale.
Every true Oklahoman can sing you the BCCLark jingle.
In fact, many have because BCCLark's takes a camera to the mall and records people singing it and uses the footage for their commercials.
As many of you know, being in the BCClark's commercial is on my 101in1001 list.
I wish I could tell you that in a moment of bravery I marched up to the 90+ year old man and interrupted his family brunch to inquire when the cameras would be hitting the malls... but alas, I did nothing of the sort.
I merely sat there. Freaking out. Looking really cool.
The end.
And then I found $5.
12.01.2006
World AIDS Day.
AIDS.
Say the word and some think of Africa, some think of homosexuals, some think of poverty, some think of women, some think of judgement, some think of children, some think of economics,and some think of their family.
Have you thought about how AIDS is affecting your family?
Think it doesn't?
Think again.
The concerts may be over, the publicity may be dwindling down, but AIDS is still affecting thousands of our family members every day.
Consider the statistics:
People living with HIV
* 39.5 million people worldwide
* 37 million adults
* 17.7 million women
* 2.3 million children under 15
New HIV cases in 2006
* 4.3 million total new cases
* 3.8 million adults
* 530,000 children under 15
AIDS deaths in 2006
* 2.9 million total deaths
* 2.6 million adults
* 380,000 children under 15
HIV by Region 2006
Sub-Saharan Africa
* 24.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 13.3 million women living with HIV
* 2.8 million adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 5.9% adult prevalence
* 2.1 million adult and child deaths due to AIDS
South and South-East Asia
* 7.8 million adults and children living with HIV
* 2.2 million women living with HIV
* 860,000 million adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.6% adult prevalence
* 590,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
East Asia
* 750,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 210,000 women living with HIV
* 100,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.1% adult prevalence
* 43,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Eastern Europe and Central Asia
* 1.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 510,000 women living with HIV
* 270,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.9% adult prevalence
* 84,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Caribbean
* 250,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 120,000 women living with HIV
* 27,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 1.2% adult prevalence
* 19,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Latin America
* 1.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 510,000 women living with HIV
* 140,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.5% adult prevalence
* 65,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
North America
* 1.4 million adults and children living with HIV
* 350,000 women living with HIV
* 43,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.8% adult prevalence
* 18,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Western and Central Europe
* 740,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 210,000 women living with HIV
* 22,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.3% adult prevalence
* 12,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Middle East and North Africa
* 460,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 200,000 women living with HIV
* 68,000 adults and children newly infected
* 0.2% adult prevalence
* 36,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Oceania
* 81,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 36,000 women living with HIV
* 7,100 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.4% adult prevalence
* 4,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
All figures from UNAIDS AIDS Epidemic Update 2006
Consider your family:
Consider what YOU can do:
Educate yourself: AVERT, UNAIDS, ONE, DATA
Encourage our leaders to Keep the Promise to stop AIDS by 2015. SENATE,
CONGRESS, THE PRESIDENT
-Participate in the HIV Vaccine Trials: CLICK HERE
-Support Organizations that are working to get the job done: Blood:water Mission, African Leadership, OXFAM, DATA
-Shop Wisely: RED
Say the word and some think of Africa, some think of homosexuals, some think of poverty, some think of women, some think of judgement, some think of children, some think of economics,and some think of their family.
Have you thought about how AIDS is affecting your family?
Think it doesn't?
Think again.
The concerts may be over, the publicity may be dwindling down, but AIDS is still affecting thousands of our family members every day.
Consider the statistics:
People living with HIV
* 39.5 million people worldwide
* 37 million adults
* 17.7 million women
* 2.3 million children under 15
New HIV cases in 2006
* 4.3 million total new cases
* 3.8 million adults
* 530,000 children under 15
AIDS deaths in 2006
* 2.9 million total deaths
* 2.6 million adults
* 380,000 children under 15
HIV by Region 2006
Sub-Saharan Africa
* 24.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 13.3 million women living with HIV
* 2.8 million adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 5.9% adult prevalence
* 2.1 million adult and child deaths due to AIDS
South and South-East Asia
* 7.8 million adults and children living with HIV
* 2.2 million women living with HIV
* 860,000 million adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.6% adult prevalence
* 590,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
East Asia
* 750,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 210,000 women living with HIV
* 100,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.1% adult prevalence
* 43,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Eastern Europe and Central Asia
* 1.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 510,000 women living with HIV
* 270,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.9% adult prevalence
* 84,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Caribbean
* 250,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 120,000 women living with HIV
* 27,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 1.2% adult prevalence
* 19,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Latin America
* 1.7 million adults and children living with HIV
* 510,000 women living with HIV
* 140,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.5% adult prevalence
* 65,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
North America
* 1.4 million adults and children living with HIV
* 350,000 women living with HIV
* 43,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.8% adult prevalence
* 18,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Western and Central Europe
* 740,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 210,000 women living with HIV
* 22,000 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.3% adult prevalence
* 12,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Middle East and North Africa
* 460,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 200,000 women living with HIV
* 68,000 adults and children newly infected
* 0.2% adult prevalence
* 36,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
Oceania
* 81,000 adults and children living with HIV
* 36,000 women living with HIV
* 7,100 adults and children newly infected with HIV
* 0.4% adult prevalence
* 4,000 adult and child deaths due to AIDS
All figures from UNAIDS AIDS Epidemic Update 2006
Consider your family:
Consider what YOU can do:
Educate yourself: AVERT, UNAIDS, ONE, DATA
Encourage our leaders to Keep the Promise to stop AIDS by 2015. SENATE,
CONGRESS, THE PRESIDENT
-Participate in the HIV Vaccine Trials: CLICK HERE
-Support Organizations that are working to get the job done: Blood:water Mission, African Leadership, OXFAM, DATA
-Shop Wisely: RED
11.28.2006
In other news:
Today during our staff meeting the boss had everyone go around the circle and share what they were thankful for.
I'm not typically a fan of such circumstances as it seems that any time I am put on the spot the only things I can think of are the stereotypical (no matter how true) things like: my friends, my family, Jesus. So you find yourself in the battle: say the cliches and be ordinary, or avoid the cliches and leave people wondering "wow, she's not thankful for Jesus. dang!"
So maybe I over analyze these things just a bit.
Anyways.. I really did have a hard time thinking of things, which is weird because last week I made my annual list o' thankfulness for this here blog. But in my moment of truth, I suffered. There I was in the midst of a group of thankful people. People thankful for the flag, immigrants thankful for America, near-middle aged men thankful for their wives... and me: friends, family, no school, lower loan payment. Wow.
Be glad you missed it, and therefore you get the REAL things I'm thankful for. So without further ado here tis:
Danica's List o' Thankfulness 2006
She's thankful for:
-Valentine: You come to me when I cry. That's amazing! 17 years and still going strong!
-Mo: You keep me entertained. Welcome to the list!
-My church: City Church East Nashville. It takes a special place to welcome both a persons pain and joy, and it takes special people to be willing to enter in to either.
-My job.
-My boss: thanks for the time off!
-Janice: for always wishing me a “blessed day” (even if you do call me “baby D”)
-Patricia: you make me smile. Thanks for appreciating me.
-I'm thankful that no one (with the exception of 1 person) at work really knows anything of substance about me. I'm not "activist danica" or "singer danica" or "the heart of belmont" or "the girl who got dumped by her fiancé"... I'm just Danica. And that's nice.
-I'm thankful that I have an office. fun!
-I'm thankful that I can wear jeans to work. Oh yes.
-RUF
-My Nashville friends : you make Nashville home. Thank-you for loving me enough to laugh or cry with me. Thank-you for refusing to let me forget who Jesus is, and for reminding me of who He isn’t.
-Kevin and Wendy Twit
-The 40+ people who sent me cards, e-mails, and packages last month. You know who you are. I love you. Thank you.
-Service Year: it hasn’t always been rainbows, but it introduced me to a great organization, sweet neighbors and a year of free rent.
-Childcare Solution: You kept my bank account alive and well over the summer. You let me cry on the phone and cancel 5 jobs with no explanation. You let me leave town for a month and you still let me take jobs with you. You prayed for me before you knew why. Thank-you.
-WOSMith: My kids: you make me smile. The staff: you welcomed me in, gave me minds to mold, then set me loose. Thanks for letting me share music with your students. And for helping me discover my theory teaching skills!
-I'm thankful for those that have helped show me reality by reminding me of the "conditional-ness" of thngs...and for helping me grow up by teaching me to be both realistic and cautious.
-My Oklahoma friends: we may not have proximity, but we have history, and oftentimes that’s more than enough. Thanks for being open ears and hearts. I miss you guys.
- Josh: I’m sorry about that day at Mozarts. But I am so glad you were there, and that you had your cell phone with you. Thank-you for coming home to see me.
-Indelible Grace: the music and the real thing
-Mom: Thanks for making bad things beautiful. (that's why I think you should paint sunsets.) You inspire me. Thanks for going to Boston with me, and for not letting me drive off that one day.
-Dad: You may not know it, but more than any other man, you’ve taught me a great deal about Jesus and how he loves people.
-Mom and Dad: I love you. Thank-you for working so hard to give me a beautiful wedding. And for working even harder to make it disappear.
-Jesus: ... I’m not as thankful as I should be. Help me in my unbelief.
-Nashville: “Tennessee you’ve been good to me. Yes I’ve come to believe you’re where I want I want to be... You may not be what I will always need. But I call you home. And if I call you home, then you’re good enough for me.”
-Sallie Mae: thank you for lowering my payments. I wish you would put it into affect now instead of waiting until January.. but I'll take what I can get. And I'm very very thankful.
This years seemed harder than usual.. but really there are so many more people and things I could include... really. The longer I sit and think about it the more I come up with.
Happy Holidays!
Count your blessings!
I'm not typically a fan of such circumstances as it seems that any time I am put on the spot the only things I can think of are the stereotypical (no matter how true) things like: my friends, my family, Jesus. So you find yourself in the battle: say the cliches and be ordinary, or avoid the cliches and leave people wondering "wow, she's not thankful for Jesus. dang!"
So maybe I over analyze these things just a bit.
Anyways.. I really did have a hard time thinking of things, which is weird because last week I made my annual list o' thankfulness for this here blog. But in my moment of truth, I suffered. There I was in the midst of a group of thankful people. People thankful for the flag, immigrants thankful for America, near-middle aged men thankful for their wives... and me: friends, family, no school, lower loan payment. Wow.
Be glad you missed it, and therefore you get the REAL things I'm thankful for. So without further ado here tis:
Danica's List o' Thankfulness 2006
She's thankful for:
-Valentine: You come to me when I cry. That's amazing! 17 years and still going strong!
-Mo: You keep me entertained. Welcome to the list!
-My church: City Church East Nashville. It takes a special place to welcome both a persons pain and joy, and it takes special people to be willing to enter in to either.
-My job.
-My boss: thanks for the time off!
-Janice: for always wishing me a “blessed day” (even if you do call me “baby D”)
-Patricia: you make me smile. Thanks for appreciating me.
-I'm thankful that no one (with the exception of 1 person) at work really knows anything of substance about me. I'm not "activist danica" or "singer danica" or "the heart of belmont" or "the girl who got dumped by her fiancé"... I'm just Danica. And that's nice.
-I'm thankful that I have an office. fun!
-I'm thankful that I can wear jeans to work. Oh yes.
-RUF
-My Nashville friends : you make Nashville home. Thank-you for loving me enough to laugh or cry with me. Thank-you for refusing to let me forget who Jesus is, and for reminding me of who He isn’t.
-Kevin and Wendy Twit
-The 40+ people who sent me cards, e-mails, and packages last month. You know who you are. I love you. Thank you.
-Service Year: it hasn’t always been rainbows, but it introduced me to a great organization, sweet neighbors and a year of free rent.
-Childcare Solution: You kept my bank account alive and well over the summer. You let me cry on the phone and cancel 5 jobs with no explanation. You let me leave town for a month and you still let me take jobs with you. You prayed for me before you knew why. Thank-you.
-WOSMith: My kids: you make me smile. The staff: you welcomed me in, gave me minds to mold, then set me loose. Thanks for letting me share music with your students. And for helping me discover my theory teaching skills!
-I'm thankful for those that have helped show me reality by reminding me of the "conditional-ness" of thngs...and for helping me grow up by teaching me to be both realistic and cautious.
-My Oklahoma friends: we may not have proximity, but we have history, and oftentimes that’s more than enough. Thanks for being open ears and hearts. I miss you guys.
- Josh: I’m sorry about that day at Mozarts. But I am so glad you were there, and that you had your cell phone with you. Thank-you for coming home to see me.
-Indelible Grace: the music and the real thing
-Mom: Thanks for making bad things beautiful. (that's why I think you should paint sunsets.) You inspire me. Thanks for going to Boston with me, and for not letting me drive off that one day.
-Dad: You may not know it, but more than any other man, you’ve taught me a great deal about Jesus and how he loves people.
-Mom and Dad: I love you. Thank-you for working so hard to give me a beautiful wedding. And for working even harder to make it disappear.
-Jesus: ... I’m not as thankful as I should be. Help me in my unbelief.
-Nashville: “Tennessee you’ve been good to me. Yes I’ve come to believe you’re where I want I want to be... You may not be what I will always need. But I call you home. And if I call you home, then you’re good enough for me.”
-Sallie Mae: thank you for lowering my payments. I wish you would put it into affect now instead of waiting until January.. but I'll take what I can get. And I'm very very thankful.
This years seemed harder than usual.. but really there are so many more people and things I could include... really. The longer I sit and think about it the more I come up with.
Happy Holidays!
Count your blessings!
Just do it.
Tonight at neighborhood group we got to talking about the theory that says: If you want to be something, or believe something and you are afraid that you can't, or you just flat out don't, sometimes it's best to start out by acting like the thing you want to be, and then over time you will become that person. I guess it's the whole 'do it to be it' thing. (Ex: if you want to be a more giving person, and you feel that you aren't that way or that you don't know how.. then just start giving and soon it will come naturally)
I started working on this recently and made some headway actually, but now I figure it's time to put it in 5th.
So:
I'm going to act like I'm excited about Christmas and not dreading it.
I'm going to act like I enjoy house hunting by myself.
I'm going to act as though babysitting in the (far-too-nice) homes of young families with pictures of their wedding and their family framed through the house doesn't phase me.
I'm going to act like I don't notice the wedding related e-mails and snail mail and phone calls that never stop coming.
I'm going to act as though I've forgotten that I have a wedding gown and 300 invitations and a plethora of decorations hidden at my parents house.
I'm going to act like it's just not a big deal anymore. Cause really, is it?
I'm going to act like an interesting person who is interested in things.
I'm going to act like I care.
So if the saying holds true, then soon I will be excited about christmas, I'll love house hunting, I won't be phased, I won't notice, I will forget, it won't matter, I will be interested and I might care.
Sounds like a good Christmas list to me.
"What? Ohhh yeeeeaaahhh. I feel grrrrreeeeeaaaaatttttt.. what's up? Me. I'm up. and I feel grrrrrrrrreeat!"
Mmhmm. great.
I started working on this recently and made some headway actually, but now I figure it's time to put it in 5th.
So:
I'm going to act like I'm excited about Christmas and not dreading it.
I'm going to act like I enjoy house hunting by myself.
I'm going to act as though babysitting in the (far-too-nice) homes of young families with pictures of their wedding and their family framed through the house doesn't phase me.
I'm going to act like I don't notice the wedding related e-mails and snail mail and phone calls that never stop coming.
I'm going to act as though I've forgotten that I have a wedding gown and 300 invitations and a plethora of decorations hidden at my parents house.
I'm going to act like it's just not a big deal anymore. Cause really, is it?
I'm going to act like an interesting person who is interested in things.
I'm going to act like I care.
So if the saying holds true, then soon I will be excited about christmas, I'll love house hunting, I won't be phased, I won't notice, I will forget, it won't matter, I will be interested and I might care.
Sounds like a good Christmas list to me.
"What? Ohhh yeeeeaaahhh. I feel grrrrreeeeeaaaaatttttt.. what's up? Me. I'm up. and I feel grrrrrrrrreeat!"
Mmhmm. great.
11.27.2006
11.26.2006
"And oh, isn't it strange how things can change you?"
"And oh, isn't it plain that some things unname you...
No need to save face, say goodnight, Grace
'Good night, Grace.'"
No need to save face, say goodnight, Grace
'Good night, Grace.'"
11.24.2006
What's a Sooner to do?
If there was ever a day for Sooner fans to care about a Texas game... that day would have been today.
Texas vs. Texas A&M
Oh the drama.
A win for Texas would shoot them into the Big 12 Championship, whereas a win for A&M would put OU into the Big 12 Championship game (assuming OU wins tomorrow against OSU... which isn't that hard to assume).
Let's take a moment to count the reasons why Texas does not deserve to go the Big 12 Championship:
1. 111th passing defense in the country.
2. Hello! They lost to Kansas State.(in your free time you should investigate their record this season)
3. Need I mention the Oregon/OU game? Yeah... I didn't think so.
4. Uh, it's Texas. Duh.
The good news is this: thus far, the football gods have agreed with my reasoning.
Oh friends. I hope you saw the game. It was beautiful. The A&M 8+ minute drive to the goal line in the 4th quarter. The interception by A&M with 1:18 left in the game.
The OTHER interception by A&M with only 17 seconds left in the game...
People, I have a sore throat.
I watched the majority of the 4th quarter between the lines of my fingers.
Glorious. (i still don't like A&M, but glorious!)
Now there will be some that will blame this on McCoys injury...but that came with 20 seconds left. Yeah, the pinched nerve from Kansas State may have been giving him trouble, but the truth is, A&M won because Texas let them run the ball. McCoy ShmuckCoy, Texas defense had a job to do...
But as they say: "All's well that ends well."
And today ended VERY well for the Sooners.
YAY!
Texas vs. Texas A&M
Oh the drama.
A win for Texas would shoot them into the Big 12 Championship, whereas a win for A&M would put OU into the Big 12 Championship game (assuming OU wins tomorrow against OSU... which isn't that hard to assume).
Let's take a moment to count the reasons why Texas does not deserve to go the Big 12 Championship:
1. 111th passing defense in the country.
2. Hello! They lost to Kansas State.(in your free time you should investigate their record this season)
3. Need I mention the Oregon/OU game? Yeah... I didn't think so.
4. Uh, it's Texas. Duh.
The good news is this: thus far, the football gods have agreed with my reasoning.
Oh friends. I hope you saw the game. It was beautiful. The A&M 8+ minute drive to the goal line in the 4th quarter. The interception by A&M with 1:18 left in the game.
The OTHER interception by A&M with only 17 seconds left in the game...
People, I have a sore throat.
I watched the majority of the 4th quarter between the lines of my fingers.
Glorious. (i still don't like A&M, but glorious!)
Now there will be some that will blame this on McCoys injury...but that came with 20 seconds left. Yeah, the pinched nerve from Kansas State may have been giving him trouble, but the truth is, A&M won because Texas let them run the ball. McCoy ShmuckCoy, Texas defense had a job to do...
But as they say: "All's well that ends well."
And today ended VERY well for the Sooners.
YAY!
11.21.2006
?
When did Christmas songs become so sad?
Or, has it always been this way and I've simply been too disillusioned to see it?
Or, has it always been this way and I've simply been too disillusioned to see it?
11.18.2006
Get ready world, another "Hannah" is coming!!
CONGRATULATIONS to Tarrah and Eric who just found out that they will be having a baby girl.
I can't wait to meet her.
For those of you who don't know, Tarrah is a friend and former boss of mine. I think it’s safe to say that she goes down in my book as one of my favorite bosses. I’ve been told that I favored her because she never made me work. But that’s not true. In all honesty she was pretty anal about things, and a lot of times there was seemingly meaningless work assigned. “Busy work” if you will. She wasn’t perfect. She would get stressed and frustrated... sometimes too much. But she cared. Maybe that explains some of her stress and frustration. Caring can do that to a person. But my point is this... Tarrah is one of my favorite bosses not due to her administrative qualities and leadership skills... but due to her heart.
When I got off the plane from Indonesia it was Tarrah who was at the airport waiting for me (and with a security officer just in case I had to be escorted to the ER). It was Tarrah who drove me to Urgent Care and waited with me for 2 hours. It was Tarrah who took me to get soup and groceries. It was Tarrah who slept on the floor of my apartment that first week to make sure that I was ok through the night. It was Tarrah who would continue to call and check up on me in the following weeks.
And that to me is 10,398,275,489,307 times more important than being some other stoic administrator. Years from now I won’t remember every boss I’ve had. (i can’t even remember them all now) But I will remember Tarrah.. because Tarrah understood that people come first.
Tarrah and I used to talk about our families and our lives quite a bit. I know that as a child she didn’t have the home atmosphere that she aspires for her children to have... and I know she worries about whether or not she will make a good mother because of it.
But I think she’ll do just fine.
Just fine.
I can't wait to meet her.
For those of you who don't know, Tarrah is a friend and former boss of mine. I think it’s safe to say that she goes down in my book as one of my favorite bosses. I’ve been told that I favored her because she never made me work. But that’s not true. In all honesty she was pretty anal about things, and a lot of times there was seemingly meaningless work assigned. “Busy work” if you will. She wasn’t perfect. She would get stressed and frustrated... sometimes too much. But she cared. Maybe that explains some of her stress and frustration. Caring can do that to a person. But my point is this... Tarrah is one of my favorite bosses not due to her administrative qualities and leadership skills... but due to her heart.
When I got off the plane from Indonesia it was Tarrah who was at the airport waiting for me (and with a security officer just in case I had to be escorted to the ER). It was Tarrah who drove me to Urgent Care and waited with me for 2 hours. It was Tarrah who took me to get soup and groceries. It was Tarrah who slept on the floor of my apartment that first week to make sure that I was ok through the night. It was Tarrah who would continue to call and check up on me in the following weeks.
And that to me is 10,398,275,489,307 times more important than being some other stoic administrator. Years from now I won’t remember every boss I’ve had. (i can’t even remember them all now) But I will remember Tarrah.. because Tarrah understood that people come first.
Tarrah and I used to talk about our families and our lives quite a bit. I know that as a child she didn’t have the home atmosphere that she aspires for her children to have... and I know she worries about whether or not she will make a good mother because of it.
But I think she’ll do just fine.
Just fine.
11.16.2006
"I ran across an old box of letters..."
... or "blog posts" actually. And like Mr. Webb, I too "had to laugh that the same old struggles that plagued me then are plaguing me still."
Har har world. I get it: "Things can always get worse." Can we move on to the next life lesson now?
Seriously.
"It's every loss and every love
It's every blessing from above
Here I am, all added up
Oh, it's all right here
It's what I know, and what I'm guessing
Half truths, and full confessions
It's why I choose to learn my lessons
Oh, it's all right here
And I'm not God, I'm a girl - I confess
That I don't have a sea of forgetfulness
No, it's all right here
It makes me stronger, it makes me wince
Makes me think twice when I pick my friends
Oh, it's all right here..."
I came to the conclusion that 2005 has been a pretty shitty year. On one hand I feel stupid using such a generalization because I have been extremely blessed this year with experiences that have been, simply put: out of this world. And don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful for them. But sometimes I can't help but feel that life was just bribing me to stay in the game. Just keep her subdued. She can bend and not break. 2005: Testing the limits of pliable Danica.
Things used to mean something. Now they just dont.
I don't know what the hell my problem is.
One day this is all going to catch up with me and I'm going to lose it.
Until then, we keep it together....
Anyhow, I've come to yet another conclusion: There are 56 days left in this year (thank God). So if anybody has anything hidden up their sleeve, any diseases, fatal illnesses, confessions of love, relocation plans, major surgeries, plans to screw me over.. etc, Do me a favor and try and relay all the necessary news before January 1st, because come 2006, I'm done.
-Danica Mercer, thedaysinbetween.blogspot.com, Novemeber 2005
Har har world. I get it: "Things can always get worse." Can we move on to the next life lesson now?
Seriously.
"It's every loss and every love
It's every blessing from above
Here I am, all added up
Oh, it's all right here
It's what I know, and what I'm guessing
Half truths, and full confessions
It's why I choose to learn my lessons
Oh, it's all right here
And I'm not God, I'm a girl - I confess
That I don't have a sea of forgetfulness
No, it's all right here
It makes me stronger, it makes me wince
Makes me think twice when I pick my friends
Oh, it's all right here..."
11.13.2006
RIP
Today, the world of part-time jobs lost one of its treasures. At roughly 8am this morning, Danica Faith Mercer, loving daughter, devoted sister, and loyal friend passed on after a short, but vigilant fight against unemployment.
For a time it seemed as though this land of professional wandering would keep Danica as an inhabitant forever. For 5 months she struggled, going from part-time job to part-time job. Enduring children, classrooms, italian food and hateful remarks from “loved ones” who tried to keep her down, telling her: “you are chasing after something that you are never going to attain” ..."You don't know what it really is to be disciplined”...“Anything that is work or could be work isn't anything you want to do."..."You somehow think that you can do music and get a full time 9-5 job with benefits with a music degree... Well...it is time for a little reality”
After such struggles many may have chosen this world over a better one. But not Danica. No. Being the, dare I say, disciplined person that she is, Danica ventured on, taking only a short break in exile from her Nashville home. After a month long hiatus, Danica returned to the land of employment suffering and followed a lead she had acquired the week before her time away.
And so began the beginning of the end.
From here the end came quickly. She fought valiantly, and she prevailed. In her final moments she even came out victorious against Sallie Mae, (Danica’s lifelong nemesis), when she realized that her consolidation had in fact not yet been applied to her account. A phone call and a few faxes later Danica triumphed in her new monthly payment, now roughly $300 less.
Today Danica has left our world behind to venture on to a better place. To her home: Employmentville. Benefits and all.
A memorial service was held this evening. Ice Cream was served, and her tombstone, as a sentiment to life’s irony reads: “It’s time to grow up.”
Danica is survived by numerous friends and family who will hopefully succeed in their own battle against unemployment soon.
(in lieu of flowers donations can be made to Sallie Mae toward an account in Danica’s name)
11.11.2006
Math.
Cooler weather + Downtown Nashville Library + Ballet Performance + Books + PB&J + Hot Chocolate + Knee Socks + Porch Swing + Blankets= Today
(happy birthday jules... I need your new address)
(happy birthday jules... I need your new address)
11.06.2006
Memory, all alone in the moonlight...
I was talking with some friends earlier, and we were discussing how weird it is what your mind is capable of remembering over time. So I got to thinking about those moments... you know the ones... those moments in life where time stands still. Moments where everything is moving in slow motion. Moments both big and seemingly small, that you know you are not likely to ever forget. So I started thinking back and taking account of the few dozen moments that stand-out to me. Granted, I am a nerd, but I found it interesting... you should try it...
-I’m 11, sitting in the back row grading reading workbooks with my 5th grade class. We are anxiously waiting to go downtown for a field trip to the Symphony. Patrick is to my left, we are discussing Sketchers. Suddenly there is this loud, yet muffled “boom” followed by a similar, yet softer “booming” noise. We all look up. Patrick proclaims that it’s Jurassic Park. The smarter boys say it was a sonic boom. An hour later our teacher informs us that there will be no fieldtrip, since someone blew up the federal building downtown.
-I’m 16. We’re dancing on my grandparents driveway in the middle of the night to music that flows out of the sunroof of his car. Months later, my driveway... he whispers I love you in the dark. A year later, his driveway... he gets out of the car and says goodbye. We never speak again.
-I’m a junior, and I’m afraid to open the mailbox. I look inside to find the letter I’m afraid of. I open it up. I’m jumping up and down. I call my parents, and they cry. 3rd times a charm. It’s going to be an interesting summer.
-I’m, 17 and I’m bored to death during “Patriot Time.” Suddenly the school goes on lockdown. There is talk of something happening in New York. We turn on the TV just in time to see the towers fall down.
-It’s after midnight. I just got off work. I’ve never been so angry. I’m screaming at him in the back of the parking lot.
-It’s January of my senior year and I’m driving around the lake waiting. Surely this time it’s my turn. The list goes up, I wait till everyone leaves. But it is not my turn. Monday morning the music teachers take me into the hall and tell me that it should have been me, but there was nothing they could do.
-It’s 2 months to graduation and I’m afriad to open the mailbox again. With 2 rejections letters in hand I go outside to find that my back-up school was no longer an option either. What am I going to do?
-We’re driving home from Gulf Shores discussing our friend and his front page appearance on the sports page as Oklahoma’s High School Baseball MVP... the very next day he makes the papers again due to a semi losing a tire that hit his car and killed him instantly. I work his funeral. I deliver flowers to his house from the funeral home. I stand in his room. There are lots of baseballs, and I remember kindergarten and him as a 5 year old, sitting on the rug describing his birthday and his presents.
-I’m 19. It is May. A month earlier, on a whim, I stood in front of a mail box in san diego and mailed a subpar audition tape to a college over 2,000 miles away. Now I am in OK sitting in my mom’s office preparing to leave the country for the summer. I go to check my e-mail, only to find that the next 3 years are not going to be what I expected.
-I'm in Germany. The sisters are crying while they sing. It's beautiful.
-It's our last Sunday in Europe. We are on the platform singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and there is Dieter. In the pews, looking back at us.
-It’s fall. I am new. Everything and everyone is new, and I am sitting with a stranger eating frosties and fries on top of the parking garage at 2am.
-I’m 19 and I’m in Hartford. It’s late at night. A man with green eyes named Richard Handy is screaming at me. He had a house and two cars. He is homeless now.
-I’m 20. It’s very late. It’s snowing and everything is very quiet. I feel that something magical is happening, but I’m crying out in the street outside my apartment anyway.
-It’s spring break. My mom is giving me a hug in my kitchen. I’m beginning to wonder if I will always feel lonely.
-I’m 21 and half a world away. I’m laying in bed staring at the bunk above me. I’m bruised. There are needles in my hands. I’m afriad my family will hate me, because I don’t think I’ll be coming home.
-I’m 21 and I’m sitting at F. Monkey. They want to take us to the G8 summit. A week later I’m talking to reporters and cameras in the park. Another week finds me in the 3rd row at Live8, and out in Edinburgh jumping up and down to The Proclaimers.
-I’m 21. It’s 2am and I’m crying on the phone. He’s apologizing. He’s saying he loves me so much. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I don’t go to sleep, I go outside and walk for 3 hours. I forgive him.
-2 weeks later, I’m sitting on his bed. Legs outstreched. Holes in my jeans. He won’t look at me. He says he wants to be better for me, and that’s the point. I have a thousand thoughts but no words. I leave the room, walk downstairs and leave. He never moves.
-It’s late and we’re bored. We walk down the street and sit on the porch of what will one day be my new house. We walk across the street. We run through the sprinklers on the soccer field.
-I’m 21 and I’m leaving the airport to drive home for christmas. I have mail to read but I’m afraid. I’m singing to Patty Griffin and I’m crying. I pray out loud all the way to Memphis. I wonder if I will ever trust anyone. I stop at a Shell station outside of Memphis. I read my mail, and I begin to feel like God is slowly answering my prayers.
-It’s New Years Eve. I’m in Austin out on my brothers balcony. We celebrate the new year on the phone together.
-I’m singing in seminar for the millionth time, but this time it’s my creation, not my replication of someone elses. I am happy. People are impressed, and the girl in the 3rd row says she would buy it.
-Spring break. We are all singing in the car. Then we are walking all day for days. It’s cold. Then hot. Then cold again. My legs are going to fall off. But we are all together. And everything is beautiful.
-I’m 22. The band has gone onstage and I am in the wings. I am cold. I have to pee. I’m so excited. I’m so scared. But I’m so excited!
-I’m recording in RCA B. My family is there. I’m enjoying it. I’m actually proud of something I helped create. Things seem full of promise.
-I’m standing in front of the church. I’m very nervous. The water isn’t as cold as I expected it to be. Kristin is crying. I’m very happy. He gives me a hug.
-I’m walking across the stage at graduation, trying to imagine another time in my life that was as exciting and as terrifying as this.
-I’m out west. I’m outside and there is rushing water everywhere. I am praying because deep down I know what’s coming and I can’t believe it. We suffer through lunch. I’m taking pictures. He’s in front of me, on one knee with a gray box. I ask him if he’s sure...
-We’re sitting alone by the river. We’re the only ones who know.
-We’re at the airport. He’s buying me my first wedding magazine, telling me it’s ok to be a girl and get excited. We read the “wedding tips” all the way back to nashville.
-I’m cooking breakfast. He’s loading the car. I watch from my porch as he drives away for the summer.
-There are news reports of a bad accident in Arusha. I’m crying on the phone to Josh, who’s telling me all the possible routes to Arusha. I’m afraid he’s gone.
-I’m on a plane. I’m freaking out, both excited and nervous to see him again. I enter the gate, and he comes out from around a corner. We talk non-stop in the car for 3 hours.
-We’re laying down. It’s dark. We’ve just finished LOST. He’s telling me he’s more in love with me now than ever, that he is confident, that he has never been more certain.
- I’m sitting on the steps outside his apartment. Knocking. Calling. Texting. An hour has passed. It’s cold. I’m crying. His friends peek out of their doors. He comes downstairs, headphones in. He won’t look at me. He pushes me out of the way.
-He’s taking all his stuff from my house. I’m apologizing, but I’m not sure what for. I’m begging him to talk to me. He’s demanding to know where his clothes are.
-I’ve cornered him in the office. He won’t look at me. He’s throwing my olive branch pictures in the trash.
-I’m driving home. The cat is scared. I’m crying. Kelsey is telling me that the light is red.
-I'm wearing a teal shirt. I'm sitting on the floor in a hallway with dozens of strangers. We're waiting.
- It’s 2am and I am suddenly wide awake. I am rocking back and forth. I am afraid, and I am panicking. I don’t want to choose, I don’t want to make anymore decisions but I know I will have to. A few days later they send me news. I sit there in silence. Not happy. Not sad. Just nonplussed by the fact that I was right all along.
- I’m resting on a sunday afternoon, when I realize that when it comes to “ham and eggs” and “chicken and pigs”... I am always the ham. I am always the pig. And it dawns on my how desperately I need to learn how to be the chicken.
-I’m in a room full of people. Everyone is singing but I am lip-synching. I try and hide it, but the tears stream down regardless, and I accept the fact: I will never be the chicken. I will never be the eggs. ...And maybe that’s ok.
-I’m 11, sitting in the back row grading reading workbooks with my 5th grade class. We are anxiously waiting to go downtown for a field trip to the Symphony. Patrick is to my left, we are discussing Sketchers. Suddenly there is this loud, yet muffled “boom” followed by a similar, yet softer “booming” noise. We all look up. Patrick proclaims that it’s Jurassic Park. The smarter boys say it was a sonic boom. An hour later our teacher informs us that there will be no fieldtrip, since someone blew up the federal building downtown.
-I’m 16. We’re dancing on my grandparents driveway in the middle of the night to music that flows out of the sunroof of his car. Months later, my driveway... he whispers I love you in the dark. A year later, his driveway... he gets out of the car and says goodbye. We never speak again.
-I’m a junior, and I’m afraid to open the mailbox. I look inside to find the letter I’m afraid of. I open it up. I’m jumping up and down. I call my parents, and they cry. 3rd times a charm. It’s going to be an interesting summer.
-I’m, 17 and I’m bored to death during “Patriot Time.” Suddenly the school goes on lockdown. There is talk of something happening in New York. We turn on the TV just in time to see the towers fall down.
-It’s after midnight. I just got off work. I’ve never been so angry. I’m screaming at him in the back of the parking lot.
-It’s January of my senior year and I’m driving around the lake waiting. Surely this time it’s my turn. The list goes up, I wait till everyone leaves. But it is not my turn. Monday morning the music teachers take me into the hall and tell me that it should have been me, but there was nothing they could do.
-It’s 2 months to graduation and I’m afriad to open the mailbox again. With 2 rejections letters in hand I go outside to find that my back-up school was no longer an option either. What am I going to do?
-We’re driving home from Gulf Shores discussing our friend and his front page appearance on the sports page as Oklahoma’s High School Baseball MVP... the very next day he makes the papers again due to a semi losing a tire that hit his car and killed him instantly. I work his funeral. I deliver flowers to his house from the funeral home. I stand in his room. There are lots of baseballs, and I remember kindergarten and him as a 5 year old, sitting on the rug describing his birthday and his presents.
-I’m 19. It is May. A month earlier, on a whim, I stood in front of a mail box in san diego and mailed a subpar audition tape to a college over 2,000 miles away. Now I am in OK sitting in my mom’s office preparing to leave the country for the summer. I go to check my e-mail, only to find that the next 3 years are not going to be what I expected.
-I'm in Germany. The sisters are crying while they sing. It's beautiful.
-It's our last Sunday in Europe. We are on the platform singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" and there is Dieter. In the pews, looking back at us.
-It’s fall. I am new. Everything and everyone is new, and I am sitting with a stranger eating frosties and fries on top of the parking garage at 2am.
-I’m 19 and I’m in Hartford. It’s late at night. A man with green eyes named Richard Handy is screaming at me. He had a house and two cars. He is homeless now.
-I’m 20. It’s very late. It’s snowing and everything is very quiet. I feel that something magical is happening, but I’m crying out in the street outside my apartment anyway.
-It’s spring break. My mom is giving me a hug in my kitchen. I’m beginning to wonder if I will always feel lonely.
-I’m 21 and half a world away. I’m laying in bed staring at the bunk above me. I’m bruised. There are needles in my hands. I’m afriad my family will hate me, because I don’t think I’ll be coming home.
-I’m 21 and I’m sitting at F. Monkey. They want to take us to the G8 summit. A week later I’m talking to reporters and cameras in the park. Another week finds me in the 3rd row at Live8, and out in Edinburgh jumping up and down to The Proclaimers.
-I’m 21. It’s 2am and I’m crying on the phone. He’s apologizing. He’s saying he loves me so much. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I don’t go to sleep, I go outside and walk for 3 hours. I forgive him.
-2 weeks later, I’m sitting on his bed. Legs outstreched. Holes in my jeans. He won’t look at me. He says he wants to be better for me, and that’s the point. I have a thousand thoughts but no words. I leave the room, walk downstairs and leave. He never moves.
-It’s late and we’re bored. We walk down the street and sit on the porch of what will one day be my new house. We walk across the street. We run through the sprinklers on the soccer field.
-I’m 21 and I’m leaving the airport to drive home for christmas. I have mail to read but I’m afraid. I’m singing to Patty Griffin and I’m crying. I pray out loud all the way to Memphis. I wonder if I will ever trust anyone. I stop at a Shell station outside of Memphis. I read my mail, and I begin to feel like God is slowly answering my prayers.
-It’s New Years Eve. I’m in Austin out on my brothers balcony. We celebrate the new year on the phone together.
-I’m singing in seminar for the millionth time, but this time it’s my creation, not my replication of someone elses. I am happy. People are impressed, and the girl in the 3rd row says she would buy it.
-Spring break. We are all singing in the car. Then we are walking all day for days. It’s cold. Then hot. Then cold again. My legs are going to fall off. But we are all together. And everything is beautiful.
-I’m 22. The band has gone onstage and I am in the wings. I am cold. I have to pee. I’m so excited. I’m so scared. But I’m so excited!
-I’m recording in RCA B. My family is there. I’m enjoying it. I’m actually proud of something I helped create. Things seem full of promise.
-I’m standing in front of the church. I’m very nervous. The water isn’t as cold as I expected it to be. Kristin is crying. I’m very happy. He gives me a hug.
-I’m walking across the stage at graduation, trying to imagine another time in my life that was as exciting and as terrifying as this.
-I’m out west. I’m outside and there is rushing water everywhere. I am praying because deep down I know what’s coming and I can’t believe it. We suffer through lunch. I’m taking pictures. He’s in front of me, on one knee with a gray box. I ask him if he’s sure...
-We’re sitting alone by the river. We’re the only ones who know.
-We’re at the airport. He’s buying me my first wedding magazine, telling me it’s ok to be a girl and get excited. We read the “wedding tips” all the way back to nashville.
-I’m cooking breakfast. He’s loading the car. I watch from my porch as he drives away for the summer.
-There are news reports of a bad accident in Arusha. I’m crying on the phone to Josh, who’s telling me all the possible routes to Arusha. I’m afraid he’s gone.
-I’m on a plane. I’m freaking out, both excited and nervous to see him again. I enter the gate, and he comes out from around a corner. We talk non-stop in the car for 3 hours.
-We’re laying down. It’s dark. We’ve just finished LOST. He’s telling me he’s more in love with me now than ever, that he is confident, that he has never been more certain.
- I’m sitting on the steps outside his apartment. Knocking. Calling. Texting. An hour has passed. It’s cold. I’m crying. His friends peek out of their doors. He comes downstairs, headphones in. He won’t look at me. He pushes me out of the way.
-He’s taking all his stuff from my house. I’m apologizing, but I’m not sure what for. I’m begging him to talk to me. He’s demanding to know where his clothes are.
-I’ve cornered him in the office. He won’t look at me. He’s throwing my olive branch pictures in the trash.
-I’m driving home. The cat is scared. I’m crying. Kelsey is telling me that the light is red.
-I'm wearing a teal shirt. I'm sitting on the floor in a hallway with dozens of strangers. We're waiting.
- It’s 2am and I am suddenly wide awake. I am rocking back and forth. I am afraid, and I am panicking. I don’t want to choose, I don’t want to make anymore decisions but I know I will have to. A few days later they send me news. I sit there in silence. Not happy. Not sad. Just nonplussed by the fact that I was right all along.
- I’m resting on a sunday afternoon, when I realize that when it comes to “ham and eggs” and “chicken and pigs”... I am always the ham. I am always the pig. And it dawns on my how desperately I need to learn how to be the chicken.
-I’m in a room full of people. Everyone is singing but I am lip-synching. I try and hide it, but the tears stream down regardless, and I accept the fact: I will never be the chicken. I will never be the eggs. ...And maybe that’s ok.
11.03.2006
See you on the other side.
The following is a chapter from a manuscript that a friend and mentor of mine from Oklahoma has been working on. His name is Dee Kelley and he is now a pastor out in San Diego. He has named his work, The Mansion of Prayer. In the manuscript he has a number of chapters each devoted to a different room in a house, and each room represents different images of prayer. It's actually quite good.. I ran across chapter 19 today, and I thought I would share it with you...
Chapter 19
"The Storm Room"
Going to the Other Side
Today is May 3rd. On this date, several years ago, Oklahoma City experienced one of the worst tornadoes on record. There were several funnel clouds, but the most devastating was an F5 tornado with winds that exceeded two hundred miles an hour. The twister came from the Southwest and cut a swath of devastation along the south side of the city that was a half a mile wide. Entire neighborhoods were destroyed and businesses were wiped out. The many tornado drills and the tornado awareness perpetuated by the media probably helped to minimize the loss of life. Grade schools teach the children where to go in case of a storm and most city residents know the safest place in their home to go if a tornado is heading in their direction. Very few Oklahoma homes have basements, so an interior room with no windows or a bathtub with a mattress on top is a good place to wait out the storm.
In the months and years that have followed the storm, sales of storm shelters have risen dramatically. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are installed underneath a garage floor. A trap door allows the residents into the shelter. Once in, there is room to sit, shelves to store emergency food and water, and batteries or generators to provide light and power for communication devices.
...One of the most popular shelters, particularly for new construction, is called a safe room. The room is typically the size of a large walk-in closet. It sits in the interior of the house and is built with reinforced concrete. It can be finished out in any way the homeowner desires. If there is severe weather, the residents go to the safe room and wait out the storm. I have discovered that I need a storm room in my house of prayer.
The storms of my life come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some come with horrendous winds and seem to blow me backwards. Some are accompanied by lightening and thunder. If the noise doesn't frighten me, the lightening can knock me off my feet. Some storms seem to come out of nowhere. The bright sunshine is suddenly overtaken by a dark cloud that kicks up the wind and sends showers all over my well-constructed plans. Other storms start brewing while I am asleep. I go to bed, thinking everything is fine and I am awakened to a traumatic event or gut wrenching news that makes sleep seem trivial.
In some storm-filled moments prayer feels like a luxury for which I have no time. In other storms, prayer seems more like a panic where I cry for help, but don't have time to wait for an answer. Sometimes prayer feels like a self-pity party where I whine to God about the injustice of life, or offer sanctimonious statements that attempt to spiritualize (and mask) real feelings of pain, or anger, or resentment.
In Luke 8:22 Jesus said to his disciples that they were going to go to the other side of the lake. they got into the boat and set sail. A storm came up. The disciples were frightened. Apparently there were not convinced of Jesus' words that they were going to go to the other side. Jesus, on the other hand, was asleep, in His own inward storm shelter. he was undaunted and undistracted by the storm. The disciples were unfamiliar with this kind of peace in the midst of life-threatening circumstances. They cry for help. Jesus awakens and calms the storm.
Jesus always hears the cries for help, and prayer is often nothing less than that. however, Jesus' response to his disciples indicated that prayer can be much more than a cry for escape from life's circumstances. Jesus asked the disciples, "Where is your faith?" Jesus had said they were going to the other side. Faith that God would get them through the storm to the other side is different than a prayer to end the storm.
Prayer can transport us to a safe room, a place of refuge, a storm shelter. The storm may be raging all around, but in the prayer room we gain confidence that God is going to get us where He wants us to be. It is a place of security, not freedom from pain. It is a place of certainty in the midst of questionable or confusing circumstances. It is a place of assurance in spite of the inability to see the other side. The storm room is not a place to live, but rather a place to which one retreats. The storm may last for a while, but there are lessons that can only be learned by sailing through the storm. Unlike a concrete reinforced storm room, our spiritual one is mobile. We step back into the winds, having partnered with God in creating an inward space that is tethered to Him. We're going to get to the other side.
Chapter 19
"The Storm Room"
Going to the Other Side
Today is May 3rd. On this date, several years ago, Oklahoma City experienced one of the worst tornadoes on record. There were several funnel clouds, but the most devastating was an F5 tornado with winds that exceeded two hundred miles an hour. The twister came from the Southwest and cut a swath of devastation along the south side of the city that was a half a mile wide. Entire neighborhoods were destroyed and businesses were wiped out. The many tornado drills and the tornado awareness perpetuated by the media probably helped to minimize the loss of life. Grade schools teach the children where to go in case of a storm and most city residents know the safest place in their home to go if a tornado is heading in their direction. Very few Oklahoma homes have basements, so an interior room with no windows or a bathtub with a mattress on top is a good place to wait out the storm.
In the months and years that have followed the storm, sales of storm shelters have risen dramatically. They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are installed underneath a garage floor. A trap door allows the residents into the shelter. Once in, there is room to sit, shelves to store emergency food and water, and batteries or generators to provide light and power for communication devices.
...One of the most popular shelters, particularly for new construction, is called a safe room. The room is typically the size of a large walk-in closet. It sits in the interior of the house and is built with reinforced concrete. It can be finished out in any way the homeowner desires. If there is severe weather, the residents go to the safe room and wait out the storm. I have discovered that I need a storm room in my house of prayer.
The storms of my life come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some come with horrendous winds and seem to blow me backwards. Some are accompanied by lightening and thunder. If the noise doesn't frighten me, the lightening can knock me off my feet. Some storms seem to come out of nowhere. The bright sunshine is suddenly overtaken by a dark cloud that kicks up the wind and sends showers all over my well-constructed plans. Other storms start brewing while I am asleep. I go to bed, thinking everything is fine and I am awakened to a traumatic event or gut wrenching news that makes sleep seem trivial.
In some storm-filled moments prayer feels like a luxury for which I have no time. In other storms, prayer seems more like a panic where I cry for help, but don't have time to wait for an answer. Sometimes prayer feels like a self-pity party where I whine to God about the injustice of life, or offer sanctimonious statements that attempt to spiritualize (and mask) real feelings of pain, or anger, or resentment.
In Luke 8:22 Jesus said to his disciples that they were going to go to the other side of the lake. they got into the boat and set sail. A storm came up. The disciples were frightened. Apparently there were not convinced of Jesus' words that they were going to go to the other side. Jesus, on the other hand, was asleep, in His own inward storm shelter. he was undaunted and undistracted by the storm. The disciples were unfamiliar with this kind of peace in the midst of life-threatening circumstances. They cry for help. Jesus awakens and calms the storm.
Jesus always hears the cries for help, and prayer is often nothing less than that. however, Jesus' response to his disciples indicated that prayer can be much more than a cry for escape from life's circumstances. Jesus asked the disciples, "Where is your faith?" Jesus had said they were going to the other side. Faith that God would get them through the storm to the other side is different than a prayer to end the storm.
Prayer can transport us to a safe room, a place of refuge, a storm shelter. The storm may be raging all around, but in the prayer room we gain confidence that God is going to get us where He wants us to be. It is a place of security, not freedom from pain. It is a place of certainty in the midst of questionable or confusing circumstances. It is a place of assurance in spite of the inability to see the other side. The storm room is not a place to live, but rather a place to which one retreats. The storm may last for a while, but there are lessons that can only be learned by sailing through the storm. Unlike a concrete reinforced storm room, our spiritual one is mobile. We step back into the winds, having partnered with God in creating an inward space that is tethered to Him. We're going to get to the other side.
10.31.2006
Sometimes you gotta blow stuff up...
...and if that time comes, just know that Roman Candles go off more than once, so it wouldn't be smart to like, say, fling it around after the first flare.
Just a tip.
Just a tip.
10.21.2006
It may sound melodramatic...
..and I know the rest of the world really doesn't care...
But I'm in a city of over 600,000 people...
and I've never felt so alone.
But I'm in a city of over 600,000 people...
and I've never felt so alone.
Pooh.
"Pooh let go of the balloon and down he went.
His fall wasn't graceful at all.
As he turned over and over in the air, he thought,
'Oh, bother! This is what comes of liking honey so much.'"
His fall wasn't graceful at all.
As he turned over and over in the air, he thought,
'Oh, bother! This is what comes of liking honey so much.'"
10.17.2006
This is me smiling and agreeing. =)
Alright.
There's this new "colorgenics" test that is being developed, (think "Myers-Briggs" meets "True Colors" meets Horoscope...) and they are letting people test it out free-of-charge on the internet.
You should all try it...
Click on this ---> LINK
In case anyone was wondering... (and I know you all were)... Here are my results:
There's this new "colorgenics" test that is being developed, (think "Myers-Briggs" meets "True Colors" meets Horoscope...) and they are letting people test it out free-of-charge on the internet.
You should all try it...
Click on this ---> LINK
In case anyone was wondering... (and I know you all were)... Here are my results:
You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.
You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.
You are prepared to establish a particular relationship that is being made available to you at this time. It could be a satisfactory liaison but there could be a certain amount of conflict involved -try to avoid direct confrontation at all costs.
Matters have not gone well for you. You are experiencing severe stress trying to guard yourself from further disappointments. It would seem that all of your hopes and dreams have not been realised and you are now beginning to doubt yourself. You no longer wish to be further advised by anyone and you insist on going it alone - to control your own destiny. Even though deep down you doubt whether things will get better in the future you have one consolation - and that is that they couldn't possibly get worse. Unwilling to give up anything that you possess, you are looking for some sort of security as a protection against any further setback or loss of position and prestige. You are so negative that you tend to exaggerate your problems and refuse to accept any advice from so called well-meaning friends.
You are presently worried about your future and you feel that whatever you do will go wrong. At this time you are your own worst enemy. All the disappointment that you have experienced, coupled with the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals, have led to anxiety. You would like recognition and a position of trust but you are concerned that these hopes and dreams may not be realised. You are very argumentative and insistent that you are right - maybe you are - but you are pushing too hard. Take it easy, let go, and smile. Smiling and agreeing with people works wonders - try it and see.
10.16.2006
Oh Bill...
Pretty sure I saw this about a month and a half ago and had every intention of writing about it, but I forgot.
It appears that former President Bill Clinton has been stalking me. That, or his aides have been spending time in South Africa, whatever.
The following was posted on BBC.com:
Now. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Perhaps you may have heard something similar before.... perhaps FROM MY LIPS LAST SUMMER AT A PRESS CONFERENCE FOR THE ONE CAMPAIGN IN CENTENNIAL PARK?
Why yes I believe that's correct.
The following is a section of the aforementioned speech...
THIS is a section from this very blog back in March of 2005:
There's also a baccalaureate speech out there somewhere with "ubuntu" references, but I won't bore you. (i know.. too late, right?) Search "ubuntu" in this blog if you're that desperate. =)
Anyhow... all this to say: Bill ain't got nothing on me...
except maybe this:
Now why didn't I think of that?
Nothing says togetherness like ubuntu thongs...
It appears that former President Bill Clinton has been stalking me. That, or his aides have been spending time in South Africa, whatever.
The following was posted on BBC.com:
All you need is ubuntu
You and me, me and you, lots and lots, for us to do
By Sean Coughlan
BBC News Magazine
Bill Clinton told the Labour conference to get into ubuntu. Eh?
Ubuntu. That was what Bill Clinton told the Labour party conference it needed to remember this week. "Society is important because of Ubuntu."
But what is it? Left-leaning sudoku? U2's latest album? Fish-friendly sushi?
No, it's a word describing an African worldview, which translates as "I am because you are," and which means that individuals need other people to be fulfilled.
The former president, husky-voiced and down-home with the delegates, gave it a folksy flavour, describing it in terms of needing to be around others to enjoy being ourselves.
"If we were the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most wealthy, the most powerful person - and then found all of a sudden that we were alone on the planet, it wouldn't amount to a hill of beans," said Mr Clinton.
The word comes from the Bantu languages spoken in southern Africa - and is related to a Zulu concept - "umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu" - which means that a person is only a person through their relationship to others.
And it's entered the political lexicon through the political changes in South Africa.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu, in his book No Future Without Forgiveness, says: "Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a Western language... It is to say, 'My humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in what is yours.'"
In his definition, it means that there is a common bond between people - and when one person's circumstances improve, everyone gains and if one person is tortured or oppressed, everyone is diminished.
Mr Tutu's identification with ubuntu has given rise to the idea of "ubuntu theology" - where ethical responsibility comes with a shared identity. If someone is hungry, the ubuntu response is that we're all collectively responsible.
There is a spiritual as well as practical dimension to this - with ubuntu reflecting the idea that we're part of a long chain of human experience, connecting us to previous and future generations.
Ubuntu has also entered the language of development and fair trade - with campaigners using the word in aid projects for Africa in ways that suggest this will be an African solution for African problems.
Ironically, says Rob Cunningham, Christian Aid's programme manager for South Africa, just as the word is taking off in Western society the values it embodies are in decline in the land of its origin.
"In my conversations with partner organisations and the communities they work with, and among older people, there's a deep sense of loss of ubuntu," says Mr Cunningham. "To me, it means sitting down in a Zulu hut in KwaZulu-Natal sharing scarce food and a brew and a few stories."
There are ubuntu education funds, ubuntu tents at development conferences, ubuntu villages, an ubuntu university - and it's now the name of an open-source operating system.
Expect to hear more from ubuntu in the future.
Now. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Perhaps you may have heard something similar before.... perhaps FROM MY LIPS LAST SUMMER AT A PRESS CONFERENCE FOR THE ONE CAMPAIGN IN CENTENNIAL PARK?
Why yes I believe that's correct.
The following is a section of the aforementioned speech...
My work with The ONE campaign has been an on-going lesson in community, unity and involvement. And it has been an honor to be able to engage my peers, my neighbors, and my city in a conversation that has been dormant for far too long.
People often ask me what it is that makes the ONE campaign special, and why I choose to devote time and energy to it. And I tell them that it all comes down to ”ubuntu.” 'Ubuntu' is an African term which roughly translates to ‘we are only people, becuase of other people.” And this to me is beautiful, and bittersweet. Hopeful and yet tragic at the same time because it reminds us that we are only as strong as our weakest link.
They say that as a global community we sink or swim together, and that when one community suffers, we all suffer. If this is true, and I believe that it is, then we are living in perilous times. Whenever the quality of life is threatened, whether on the corner of 8th and Lafayette, in the townships of South Africa, or the remote villages of South East Asia, we all have the responsibilty, as members of a human race, to do something about it. Until we come together and acheive a union of solidarity, amongst ourselves, then peace is only a dream.. but if we work together, everyone doing their part, then anything is possible.
THIS is a section from this very blog back in March of 2005:
There is this amazing ancient African term: “Ubuntu” that means “humanity to others” and is used to say “I am who I am because of who we all are.” Now I won’t go off on another one of my “solidarity soapboxes”.. but seriously. That is so true.. we are only people because of other people... and that is a beautiful thing. I would love to say that if we all really and truly believed “ubuntu” then we wouldn’t struggle with being ourselves... however, I really and truly believe ‘ubuntu’ and I still have a hard time letting go... maybe it’s because I know that not everyone subscribes to that line of thinking... Regardless, ubuntu reminds us that everyone, every person on earth, has a common bond with each other through our very humanity. As christians we know this to be true in that we all are sinners in need of God... we’re all on the same road, trying to make sense out of a place that is incomplete and unresolved. Indeed to try and understand it is to “struggle for a new world to be born.”
There's also a baccalaureate speech out there somewhere with "ubuntu" references, but I won't bore you. (i know.. too late, right?) Search "ubuntu" in this blog if you're that desperate. =)
Anyhow... all this to say: Bill ain't got nothing on me...
except maybe this:
Now why didn't I think of that?
Nothing says togetherness like ubuntu thongs...
10.06.2006
I have to ask...
...has anyone else noticed the significant number of commercials with Abraham Lincoln in them?
Do I even have to say it?
Seriously.
Coincidence?
I think not.
Do I even have to say it?
Seriously.
Coincidence?
I think not.
10.05.2006
9.13.2006
9.12.2006
Are. You. Kidding. Me?
Driving around on the highway today on my way to work, in the rain, with no window, I look down to see a bright orange glow. Alas, my check engine light is on.
9.11.2006
my week.
a story for you.
So, my car registration was set to expire at the end of August, so on my trip back to OK I set out to renew it in hopes of delaying getting TN plates. To my misfortune however, the tag agency was closed all weekend, so I returned to Nashville ready to bite the bullet and pay for TN tags only to find a ticket on my car- for expired tags. Boo. (ps-to add insult to injury, the airport threw away all my lip gloss too)
So, the next morning I call around and learn that TN requires individuals to pass emissions testing before you can register. So off I go to the emissions place only to learn that my car has some sort of "gross fumes leak" and that the check engine light no longer works. Thus a FAIL on my emissions test. So off I go to the car shop. 1 day and $250 later the problem is fixed. (However, the ticket is now MIA)
Throughout this mess I go back and forth from Tangredi's trying to get the money they owe me that they never mailed me, only to have the owner say, "Oh, I don't know where you're check went. Come back Saturday when little Mike is here." (little Mike is their 16 year old son who handles the finances... hmmm)
So I come by on Sunday,and after waiting 10 minutes, little Mike appears only to say, "oh they erased you from the computer, so we don't know how much we owe you.. but here's $80." Ummm, ok whatever.
Sunday means the emissions places are closed, so I couldn't take the car in to be retested. Instead we took it to church where the driver side window was smashed in, the visors ripped off, the stereo and console ripped apart and roughly 30 CD's stolen.
The good news is, I now know who to call to try and get my missing ticket taken care of. AND we only had to wait about 2 1/2 hours for the police to come and wrap everything up.
The bad news: reporting it to insurance won't help because my deductible is too high and a report will raise my future insurance premiums. Wow America sucks.
So today I go in for a "second interview" with Atlas Promotional. It was what they call a "Day of Observation." But I like to call it "a day of something else." The good news: I got the job. The bad news: I don't think I can take it. Being promoted to management in 4-6 months witha a salary of $1,200 a week sound promising and all, but I simply can't survive on commission only for 6 months! With no benefits or base pay? Not to mention I'm walking around selling stuff, which is probably the worst job ever... yeah...
Meanwhile, everyone's at the Sufjan show and I can't afford to go. =(
Not the best week of my life.
And I still need to get my car registered....
So, my car registration was set to expire at the end of August, so on my trip back to OK I set out to renew it in hopes of delaying getting TN plates. To my misfortune however, the tag agency was closed all weekend, so I returned to Nashville ready to bite the bullet and pay for TN tags only to find a ticket on my car- for expired tags. Boo. (ps-to add insult to injury, the airport threw away all my lip gloss too)
So, the next morning I call around and learn that TN requires individuals to pass emissions testing before you can register. So off I go to the emissions place only to learn that my car has some sort of "gross fumes leak" and that the check engine light no longer works. Thus a FAIL on my emissions test. So off I go to the car shop. 1 day and $250 later the problem is fixed. (However, the ticket is now MIA)
Throughout this mess I go back and forth from Tangredi's trying to get the money they owe me that they never mailed me, only to have the owner say, "Oh, I don't know where you're check went. Come back Saturday when little Mike is here." (little Mike is their 16 year old son who handles the finances... hmmm)
So I come by on Sunday,and after waiting 10 minutes, little Mike appears only to say, "oh they erased you from the computer, so we don't know how much we owe you.. but here's $80." Ummm, ok whatever.
Sunday means the emissions places are closed, so I couldn't take the car in to be retested. Instead we took it to church where the driver side window was smashed in, the visors ripped off, the stereo and console ripped apart and roughly 30 CD's stolen.
The good news is, I now know who to call to try and get my missing ticket taken care of. AND we only had to wait about 2 1/2 hours for the police to come and wrap everything up.
The bad news: reporting it to insurance won't help because my deductible is too high and a report will raise my future insurance premiums. Wow America sucks.
So today I go in for a "second interview" with Atlas Promotional. It was what they call a "Day of Observation." But I like to call it "a day of something else." The good news: I got the job. The bad news: I don't think I can take it. Being promoted to management in 4-6 months witha a salary of $1,200 a week sound promising and all, but I simply can't survive on commission only for 6 months! With no benefits or base pay? Not to mention I'm walking around selling stuff, which is probably the worst job ever... yeah...
Meanwhile, everyone's at the Sufjan show and I can't afford to go. =(
Not the best week of my life.
And I still need to get my car registered....
9.07.2006
The List.
The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
BOLD items are completed (yay!)
ITALICIZED Items are in progress (fingers crossed)
DANICA'S LIST!
1. Go to a shooting range.
2. hitch hike
3. Sky-dive
4. See a Green Bay Packers Game
5. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
6. Save $1 a day for 1001 days
7. Watch a sunrise
8. Make a new list as soon as this one ends!
9. Put coins in expired parking meters
10. Pay for the car behind me in a fast food drive-through
11. Buy a piano (edit: I may be changing this to piano/keyboard.. cause one makes much more sense for me.. and they are similar in price)
12. Learn to play the cello
13 run a 1/2 marathon.
14. Read the Bible... all of it.
15. Drink only water for a month
16. Participate in a Sader Dinner
17. Make a scrapbook from our grand canyon trip
18. Get rid of AIM for a month.
19. Pay off my smaller student loan (or the equivalent on my larger loan).
20. Get a “real” job that I actually enjoy (or brings me anywhere close to actual "enjoyment")
21. Be certified in CPR
22. Learn to change a tire.
23. Learn to drive a standard.
24. Go 1 entire month without eating out
25. Cook dinner every night for a week
26. Go camping for a weekend
27. Take my "pretty voice" to audition for Disney.
28. Go skiing & snowboarding.
29. Have a letter to the editor published.
30. Submit articles for magazines.
31. Have a secret on Postsecret or in thier book.
32. Launch the band website & Myspace Pages.
33. Finish the EP.
34. Plug songs to Publishing Co.
35. Visit Bob and Linda in New Hampshire
36. Work in Africa
37. Do a mother daughter trip to Boston.
38. Go to a Spa for the weekend with girlfriends.
39. Do christmas for $300 (and not leave anyone out!)
40. Audition for a Broadway musical.
41. Send random ”I Love You” notes to family and friends.
42. Experience Nashville through a tourists eyes.
43. Backpack Europe for a month.
44. Return to New York.
45. Improve and expand my conversational German
46. Take my car through on of those nice, detail carwash places.
47. Fly a kite at Cenetnnial Park
48. Ice Skate at Rockefellar Center.
49. Be the Local Lightning spotlight. I figure being played on the station is close enough seeing as how I never applied and then I moved... plus I'm in syndication...for better or worse...
50. Begin and grow a vinyl collection
51. Sell something on Ebay
52. Have my saxaphone fixed.
53. Get a dog. (I'm counting Chester... deal with it)
54. See the Nashville Ballet
55. Go to a Sounds game
56. Go to a Predators game.
57. Meet Danica Patrick and tell her she pronounces her name wrong.
58. Perform at The Ryman
59. Go Skinny-dipping
60. Organize clothes/closet & donate the ones I haven’t worn in 1 year.
61. Play hookey from work.
62. Sleep in the backyard.
63. Attempt surfing again...and succeed!
64. Go horseback riding
65. Become insured.
66. Undergo LASIK
67. Knit a scarf.
68. Go for a week without hitting the snooze button on my alarm.
69. Participate in a Kareoke night.
70. Buy a lottery ticket.
71. Go for a picnic at midnight. Wine and all.
72. Host a family holiday dinner.
73. Go to the drive-in.
74. Get a library Card.
75. Save $5,000
76. Write a musical.
77. Learn my family stories and begin a CD project on them.
78. Grow a vegetable garden. I tried... twice.
79. Plant flowers.
80. Help a friend accomplish a task on their 101 list.
81. Make a t-shirt quilt. (edit: I started this and have had it 3/4 done since the week I made up this list... sad. I WILL finish it!)
82. Add something to a Wikipedia listing
83. Learn to juggle
84. Watch the Sight and Sound Critics Top 10 Films & Directors Top 10 Films.
85. Read the top 10 books in the Modern Library’s “Board’s List” of 100 Best Novels.
86. Buy a complete suit.
87. Go TPing.
88. Write a letter of thanks and encouragement to a politician.
89. write a letter of thanks and encouragement to a company based on an employees job well done.
90. Participate in a “26 Things” project
91. Visit/Camp at Yellowstone (see old faithful)
92. Visit/Camp at Yosemite
93. Get really cute rain boots and go puddle jumping.
94. Tell people what they mean to me, and be honest when the things they do or don’t do, hurt me.
95. Be in the BC Clark’s TV commercial.
96. Go rock Climbing
97. Do 1 full pull up.
98. Write a song a day for a week.
99. Go a day without worrying.
100. Watch "Project Runway"
101. Make Fried chicken.
You can keep tabs on my status over in the right-hand column... plus I'll be posting on items as I complete them.
Here goes nothing...
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.
The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).
Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.
BOLD items are completed (yay!)
ITALICIZED Items are in progress (fingers crossed)
DANICA'S LIST!
1. Go to a shooting range.
2. hitch hike
3. Sky-dive
4. See a Green Bay Packers Game
5. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
6. Save $1 a day for 1001 days
7. Watch a sunrise
8. Make a new list as soon as this one ends!
9. Put coins in expired parking meters
10. Pay for the car behind me in a fast food drive-through
11. Buy a piano (edit: I may be changing this to piano/keyboard.. cause one makes much more sense for me.. and they are similar in price)
12. Learn to play the cello
13 run a 1/2 marathon.
14. Read the Bible... all of it.
15. Drink only water for a month
16. Participate in a Sader Dinner
17. Make a scrapbook from our grand canyon trip
18. Get rid of AIM for a month.
19. Pay off my smaller student loan (or the equivalent on my larger loan).
20. Get a “real” job that I actually enjoy (or brings me anywhere close to actual "enjoyment")
21. Be certified in CPR
22. Learn to change a tire.
23. Learn to drive a standard.
24. Go 1 entire month without eating out
25. Cook dinner every night for a week
26. Go camping for a weekend
27. Take my "pretty voice" to audition for Disney.
28. Go skiing & snowboarding.
29. Have a letter to the editor published.
30. Submit articles for magazines.
31. Have a secret on Postsecret or in thier book.
32. Launch the band website & Myspace Pages.
33. Finish the EP.
34. Plug songs to Publishing Co.
35. Visit Bob and Linda in New Hampshire
36. Work in Africa
37. Do a mother daughter trip to Boston.
38. Go to a Spa for the weekend with girlfriends.
39. Do christmas for $300 (and not leave anyone out!)
40. Audition for a Broadway musical.
41. Send random ”I Love You” notes to family and friends.
42. Experience Nashville through a tourists eyes.
43. Backpack Europe for a month.
44. Return to New York.
45. Improve and expand my conversational German
46. Take my car through on of those nice, detail carwash places.
47. Fly a kite at Cenetnnial Park
48. Ice Skate at Rockefellar Center.
49. Be the Local Lightning spotlight. I figure being played on the station is close enough seeing as how I never applied and then I moved... plus I'm in syndication...for better or worse...
50. Begin and grow a vinyl collection
51. Sell something on Ebay
52. Have my saxaphone fixed.
53. Get a dog. (I'm counting Chester... deal with it)
54. See the Nashville Ballet
55. Go to a Sounds game
56. Go to a Predators game.
57. Meet Danica Patrick and tell her she pronounces her name wrong.
58. Perform at The Ryman
59. Go Skinny-dipping
60. Organize clothes/closet & donate the ones I haven’t worn in 1 year.
61. Play hookey from work.
62. Sleep in the backyard.
63. Attempt surfing again...and succeed!
64. Go horseback riding
65. Become insured.
66. Undergo LASIK
67. Knit a scarf.
68. Go for a week without hitting the snooze button on my alarm.
69. Participate in a Kareoke night.
70. Buy a lottery ticket.
71. Go for a picnic at midnight. Wine and all.
72. Host a family holiday dinner.
73. Go to the drive-in.
74. Get a library Card.
75. Save $5,000
76. Write a musical.
77. Learn my family stories and begin a CD project on them.
78. Grow a vegetable garden. I tried... twice.
79. Plant flowers.
80. Help a friend accomplish a task on their 101 list.
81. Make a t-shirt quilt. (edit: I started this and have had it 3/4 done since the week I made up this list... sad. I WILL finish it!)
82. Add something to a Wikipedia listing
83. Learn to juggle
84. Watch the Sight and Sound Critics Top 10 Films & Directors Top 10 Films.
85. Read the top 10 books in the Modern Library’s “Board’s List” of 100 Best Novels.
86. Buy a complete suit.
87. Go TPing.
88. Write a letter of thanks and encouragement to a politician.
89. write a letter of thanks and encouragement to a company based on an employees job well done.
90. Participate in a “26 Things” project
91. Visit/Camp at Yellowstone (see old faithful)
92. Visit/Camp at Yosemite
93. Get really cute rain boots and go puddle jumping.
94. Tell people what they mean to me, and be honest when the things they do or don’t do, hurt me.
95. Be in the BC Clark’s TV commercial.
96. Go rock Climbing
97. Do 1 full pull up.
98. Write a song a day for a week.
99. Go a day without worrying.
100. Watch "Project Runway"
101. Make Fried chicken.
You can keep tabs on my status over in the right-hand column... plus I'll be posting on items as I complete them.
Here goes nothing...
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