This past week has been crazy! And I can only assume that the craziness will continue, but that’s not such a bad thing. I’ve found that at times craziness is beneficial, even essential, to ones sanity. However, in the midst of all the activity, I’ve had to remind myself to slow down, breathe, sleep, eat. I’ve noticed that over these past few weeks I’ve been doing plenty of thinking but I’ve had very little time for reflection; and as past experience has proved, in my life this is generally a danger sign.
So the other day I spent some time reflecting over the past few weeks: the seminars, the convo’s, the programs, the conventions, even conversations that I have had with others, or God. I thought about the direction my life is heading (or better yet, my attempt to understand where my life is going) and the types of things that I have been involved with over these last few years.
Once again I was reminded of how strange God is. I think back to three years ago and to the person I was, and when I flash back to the future it is amazing to see how far God has taken me (and I’m not talking just miles either). If I had any idea then that I would be where I am today, doing the things that I am doing now, I’m not so sure what I would have thought! Seriously, Romans 12:2 has to have been God’s secret agenda for me over these past few years. And I never saw it coming! (which is good, because if I had.. things might have turned out differently...)
Alas, I digress..
So I bet you’re wondering what this post has to do with advocacy. Well.. as I was mulling things over the other day, my usual doubts and fears regarding my current “passions” came to visit me yet again..
The biggest struggle I’ve encountered since I became involved in social justice issues has been trying to find that fine balance between coming across as “advocating” or complaining. All too often it seems as though people who advocate are simply whining, (I blame part of this on the media, who are notorious for portraying activists in this light) and I don’t want to be seen that way. This has become a focal point for me these days. I’ve started forcing myself to ask those dangerous questions such as: “Am I creating a sense of community through this?” “Are these issues promoting unity, or are they keeping us in a state of division, arguing over legalities and petty differences?” “Does this issue divide those who should be in common accord?” (yes.. I just said ‘common accord’.. stop laughing) “Am I taking a particular stance on this issue simply becuase it’s not the majority opinion?” “Am I making political decisions based on what I’ve been conditioned to believe is politically correct?”
I’ll admit it... I really don’t enjoy answering most of those, but lately I have been taking a closer look at my motives in all of this. My biggest fear is that I will get so caught up in everything that I lose sight of the “Why?”. Or worse, that I will be completely ‘sold-out’ to one particular side of an issue to the point that I won’t recognize it’s path of destruction.
In addition, while I don’t base my decisions on the opinions of others, I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t passed the point of caring how others perceive me. I’m sure that to some I come off as a ‘radical,’ as some “hippie” who is always protesting something. Now I can live with the “radical” part (since it adds humor to my life, and well.. I’m really not!).. but I don’t want people to think that I am simply on some “kick” going through some “liberal college phase” where it’s cool to disagree with social norms and conservative ideals all of the time. I want people to take me seriously.
Spiritually speaking, I’ve been praying that God’s opinion remain what matters most in my life. Afterall, at the end of the day, the most important question I can answer is: “What is at the heart of my mission?” ...and the day my answer becomes anything other than Christ, is the day that I am headed for trouble.
Anyhow.. I’m sure you’ve had enough of my stream-of-consciousness musings..
Till next time..
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