Love is a verb.

Lately I've been thinking about how 'love' is a verb. I suppose I've always believed it, but it seems that more and more I am realizing the consequences of love being a verb. If love is a verb, then it is a choice.. It is an action (action words are verbs.. the song, remember?) So what does it say when someone says, by word or deed, "I don't love you anymore."

If love is a verb, then they are basically saying: "I'm choosing not to love you."

Mward and I used to say that we didn't believe in love. This of course is silly, because if love weren't real than most peoples lives would be a little less complicated. But the more I think about love as a verb, the more I think that Mward and I were onto something... "Love" as a noun is certainly alive and well... but perhaps love as a verb really is dead. Nonexistant. Only Jesus ever truly lived love as a verb and look at what happened to Him: the people He loved betrayed, denied and killed him.

Yeah.

So I'm left wondering what hope there is at all. When we live for ourselves and treat love as if it were something that comes along now and again...a simple emotion.. what a joke. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jer.17:9)" That means you can't rely on anything you think or feel.. in the end it comes down to the choices you make, and the actions you take. Otherwise, why not have an affair when you meet someone who connects with you better than your spouse does? Why not abandon your marriage when it becomes too hard and you no longer feel adequate and your wife/husband has turned into a total bitch? Why not ignore that lonely friend of yours that just can't seem to leave you alone?

God calls people to love with the verb form of love. To choose to love. To love at all times, and in all circumstances. It wasn't a request either....Does anyone else realize the enormity of what this means? This means we can't just walk away from people who rub us the wrong way... we can't ignore our friends when they piss us off.. and .. well, just look at the divorce rate.. good gracious, if love is really a verb, and God really meant for it to be that way, then we can't just go around breaking our commitments to love because we've started feeling differently about the situation... are you kidding me? I don't think God's strolling around telling people to end their marriages because maybe they really shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, or, maybe there's something more exciting out there, or, maybe it's just not going as planned.

When loving doesn't come easy, it becomes easier to see where our hearts lie. Do I act in my own interest, or in that of others? Do I abandon the situation? Do I pursue those who are difficult to love, or do I blow them off? If you are like me, and most people, then you probably act out of selfishness when the rubber really meets the road. We are such selfish creatures. At the end of the day, we really only love ourselves. And yet God demands that we love. That we choose love... He must have known that love, whether romantic or otherwise, wouldn't always be stars and fireflies otherwise why the emphasis on really choosing to love others?

Ultimately, love is never gonna do it for you. You'll fail. You'll be failed. Your marriage will come up short. You'll screw over your friends. Your loved ones will hurt you more than your enemies ever could. You'll manage to return the favor. You'll love poorly. You'll refuse to love. You'll choose to be selfish. You'll fall victim to anothers apathy. And then what do you do?

I dunno... I would figure you repent. You hold on, you keep your commitments, you trust, and you keep on loving. You remember that it's God who completes you. Not your spouse, and not your friends, so you can let them off the hook and stop expecting so much in return. You remember that it's God who makes you feel alive so you no longer have to go searching for excitement and newness when times get mundane because surely the God who created the universe will bring change when it's time. You remember that receiving love is as important as giving it, so you let yourself be loved, and you vow to continue loving despite what the unknown future may bring. You choose not to wallow in sin or self-pity. You refuse to be bound by pride. You humble yourself and prepare to get dirty because you remember that love is work, and it wasn't God's recommendation, but God's command.

In summation: Love is a verb, and this makes love harder than we thought, so expect turbulence. Don't expect your friends, loved ones or significant others to be for you what God is supposed to be for you... they will never succeed because they were never meant to.. be thankful that they (and you) fall short, if we didn't, what would we need Jesus for?

I'll be honest: when I think about how cavalier humans are with love and relationships... it really scares the crap out of me. People are so fickle... we are easily swayed and easily satisfied. Personally, I don't do relationships. I honestly believe I would be divorced if I ever got married, but suppose that weren't true and I felt differently: Even then how could I be sure that my husband wouldn't get bored or tired and leave me to wake up one day and find him gone? There are no garauntees... who's to say I wouldn't marry a godly man who loves me but will one day unexpectedly leave me for someone else who has something to offer that I don't? Or someone who is less work than I am? I'm just one woman... I can't possibly be all things at all times. I'm only human, and I'm not so hot at that half the time as it is.

I would have to hope that my spouse found their worth and full satisfaction in Jesus, so that I wouldn't have to fear being left because I was too difficult, or because we fought, or because I wasn't as exciting and fulfilling as they may have expected to the point where a life without me seemed more fulfilling. I'd have to pray that I would marry a man with a strong faith who trusted God daily with our future so that our financial troubles, unforseen obstacles or other typical difficulties wouldn't be seen as reasons to leave. I'd have to believe that he would be in tune enough with God to refuse to doubt the truth when times got dark.

But even then... people change. We all do. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Oftentimes you don't even see it coming. There is no such thing as "sure." why else would so many marriages fail after years of commitment? No one has a garuntee that their spouse won't wake up one day and just decide they'd rather be alone, choosing to throw them, their relationship, their collective past and their collective future away. So people should pray for increased faith and trust in God... and that's harder than it sounds. After all, who's to say God hasn't planned a divorce for certain people? It's important to pray for faith either way, so that even if your loving christian spouse leaves you for other things (themselves, someone else, a career, etc), your faith in Jesus will be strong enough to pull you through it and give you rest. Granted, I've yet to hear of anyone feeling that way after being left, but I think it's still something to hope for.

A friend of mine once said it best, I'll leave you with his words:

Yes it is true that we are not "made complete" through our girlfriends, or our wives. True completeness only comes through Christ when we will finally be unified with Him as His bride. And this story about the man in the moon and venus is a powerful one because so many people, it seems, do believe that we can simply fall in and out of love. They don't realize that love is a choice, and the passion we feel is a gift. A gift that God does not always allow us to enjoy, so that it will be made plain to us who we really love by the choices we make when we do not feel this passion.

However, with this in mind, the woman that God does have for you, should "complete" you in certain ways that no other human relationship can. Meaning that if she was to leave, you would feel incomplete in certain ways that your friends would not be able to fulfill. We were made for relationship, mainly relationship with God, however, since that cannot happen in all perfectness while we are here on Earth, God allowed for us to be able to experience a lesser form of that intimacy with our significant others so as to gain a taste of God's amazing love.

In other words, it is your job to let yourself be loved by your spouse as they try and imitate God's love for you, and at the same time (and more importantly) it is your job to be the best portrayal of Christ to them as you choose to love them everyday by being willing to sacrifice your life in whatever way neccessary so that they will know that you love them with a love that will not fade, whether the passion is there or not. I am not trying to diminish the importance of not dating to those that have decided not to date (that is between you and God), however, if you are waiting until you know you are ready, then you never will be because the love you have to give is being compared to the love God has already given, and you will never match up.

You will hurt her (or him), you will screw up, you will face temptation that you can never really prepare yourself for. And that is why it is so important for us to fully rely on God in our relationships because the strongest relationships are not the ones in which the two people really prepared themselves for beforehand (although, there is some truth to that as well), but the strongest relationships are the ones in which everyday both the man and the woman recognize that they must choose to love, apart from their feelings, apart from their passions and apart from the expectations that are not met by the other person. It is these relationships that are able to face the rockiest of times and not only survive, but come out even stronger on the other end.

The Man in the Moon and Venus didn't make it because their relationship was based on the expectations that come from selfish love (which really is not love at all if you ask me), and that is true of too many relationships. However, this is not because they didn't wait long enough before getting together, or because God had someone better out there for them, or because they just weren't compatible. No, this was simply because their love was built on an extremely weak foundation of conditions rather than on the perfect foundation of Christ. And that would have made all the difference.

Let's hope we can all believe and act accordingly.... Lord knows most days I can't.

Yes. It's been boring here.

I know the blog has been a bit "blah" lately. I apologize. I keep meaning to post on lots of different things, but alas, I never do.

So here's my attempt at something "meaningful."

The blog may have been boring as of late, but life has been quite the opposite.

I'm reminded again of my abilty to cope with disappointments more successfully than blessings. Which is sad, really. I don't know what it is, but I think it's true of most people. This could explain why so many people are willing to wallow and stay in the "depths of despair." It's strange, but I guess there's something familiar about pain, something routine. Or maybe it's just that we have a callousness reserved for life's pain and dissappointments, whereas joy really gets you where it hurts, and there's no hiding from it.

Tonight at City Church Kevin mentioned how life with God is sometimes a little out of control. I'd have to say amen to that one.

At the moment I'm listening through a few playlists from last fall and they're making me feel a plethora of things. I wish I could tell you, but I just can't find the words. (currently I can only steal them...) Lately, when I take the time to think back over this past year it isn't long before I find myself overwhelmed. So many events, so many changes. I often wonder if Danica from a year ago would even recognize me now. It's funny, a year ago I didn't even know my fiance existed. I don't know if that makes me insane or lucky... probably both, but I'd say that that event alone constitutes as "a little out of control" not to mention the G8 summit, graduation and everything else inbetween. I for one am happy that God knows what He's doing, cause I never would have expected any of this (with the exception of graduation) last summer.

So I'm learning how to live life in a constant state of awe. With so much going on, there isn't much else I can do. It's an amazing feeling to know you will soon be married to your best friend, and yet, at the same time it's fightening to feel at times as though you hardly know them at all. It's exciting to see yourself going through the process of something that you were never really sure would happen or not, but it is slightly intimidating to see everything in your life changing completely in such a short time.

But wow. It's worth it.

And I really don't know how else to end this post, so that will have to do for tonight.

Yay for unexpected good things. Yay for being out of control.

Goodnight all.

"None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can change our tomorrows." -Buddha

So I’m sitting here on my couch enjoying one the last remaining days of summer. And what a summer it’s been, huh? Quite the ride I must say. As hard as life can be sometimes (and believe me, it can be damn hard) it’s unescapable how blessed I am, and how much God has given me and taught me this summer. Yeah, I’ve still got issues with Him, but I’ll come around. I have to. I want to.

In the midst of the summer madness I’ve developed a semi-healthy shoe addiction, found a favorite brand of hummus, treated myself to sushi a number of times, and been completely thrilled by the fact that not only is Blue Bell now being sold in Tennessee, but Ben and Jerry’s has FINALLY started selling their “oatmeal cookie crunch” in pints. Yay.

I still cannot believe that students move back in less than a week, and that school is starting a week from Wednesday. My eventful summer flew by, and I don’t feel rested... and I definitely don’t feel prepared. But oh well. 9 months and it’s over. I’m not sure whether to add a “Thank God” or an “Oh my God” after that.. either way God is key for me to get through all this with any sense of direction or sanity... hopefully both.

I’m sad that my last summer of freedom is over. But ‘adulthood’ has already started chasing me down, and I can’t run forever. As much as I’d like to. Despite the end of summer and the beginning of school, I look forward to fall. Cooler air, football games, longsleeved shirts, leaves, pumpkins, halloween, holidays... good times I hope.

Wow. I’m not going to be in school next year.

We’re in the middle of RA Training / Leadership Training which means I’ve moved a lot of furniture in Hillside, sat through my share of “motivational lectures,” surveyed about 40 rooms, made a few too many decorations, and had some time to spend too much time with the new RA staff for Bruin Hills. Luckily I think they are all amazing and I look forward to working with all of them. One of our girls spent a month in South Africa this summer and met Jena Lee (from blood:water mission) while she was there, and one of our guys showed up wearing a ONE bracelet.. come to find out that he followed the ONE campaign all summer from the Live 8 shows to the G8 and everything. Another guy writes for “The Vision” though.. so that’s points off.. but the opportunist in me can’t help but see the possibilities in that situation. Anyhow, they’re all marvelous. They let me bitch about Wal Mart, and that’s just awesome.

I refuse to let this be a bad year.

My last senior year still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth in so many ways. I cannot live through that hell again, and the last thing I need is a reason to run away from a place and a people that I love so much. So I refuse to wait for one. I refuse to look for an excuse to escape... and maybe one will find me anyway, maybe it’s unavoidable. But it won’t be because I gave up.

So I will believe.

And I will have confidence if it kills me.

And I will trust that God dreams bigger than I do.

because He does.




And I’ll do my “ep” of sorts by Christmas.

Hold up, what did she say?

Not sure how much of this actually came out... but here's the gist of the Press Conference Speech by yours truly:


I’d like to begin by saying how honored I feel to be standing here with you all today. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined myself in this situation, and to see so many of you coming out to support an organization and an ideal that I firmly believe in... that is indeed a blessing.

My journey with the ONE campaign officially began about a year ago, but upon closer examination, it has come to my attention that my involvement with ONE has been years in the making.

For as long as I can remember I have felt an undying need to KNOW people. To share life and hope with others, and to allow them to share hope and life with me. From day to day relationships to church missions trips to soup kitchens to advocacy, over the years i experimented with ways to satisfy this unquenchable thirst. Upon moving to Nashville to attend Belmont University, I was thrown head-first into the world of social-justice and service through various leadership opportunities on campus, and before I knew it, I found myself in the prime position to connect students with the community through various social services and advocacy campaigns.. one of these being the ONE campaign.

My work with The ONE campaign has been an on-going lesson in community, unity and involvement. And it has been an honor to be able to engage my peers, my neighbors, and my city in a conversation that has been dormant for far too long.

People often ask me what it is that makes the ONE campaign special, and why I choose to devote time and energy to it. And I tell them that it all comes down to ”ubuntu.” 'Ubuntu' is an African term which roughly translates to ‘we are only people, becuase of other people.” And this to me is beautiful, and bittersweet. Hopeful and yet tragic at the same time because it reminds us that we are only as strong as our weakest link.

They say that as a global community we sink or swim together, and that when one community suffers, we all suffer. If this is true, and I believe that it is, then we are living in perilous times. Whenever the quality of life is threatened, whether on the corner of 8th and Lafayette, in the townships of South Africa, or the remote villages of South East Asia, we all have the responsibilty, as members of a human race, to do something about it. Until we come together and acheive a union of solidarity, amongst ourselves, then peace is only a dream.. but if we work together, everyone doing their part, then anything is possible.

This is the beauty of the ONE campaign.

I’ve been priviledged to work with numerous non-profits and NGO’s both here in Nashville and across the US. And in my experiece with them I have encountered many different individuals, ideals, mission statements, and beliefs. Despite their differences.. ONE thing united them nonetheless, and that was the belief that today, in a time of wealth and prosperity, more than one billion people living on less than $1 a day, is wrong, more than 8 million people needlessly dying from extreme poverty because they are too poor to support themselves, is wrong, and the extreme loss of life that is occurring across the globe from HIV/AIDS, a PREVENTABLE disease is wrong.

The ONE campaign isn’t about charity. it’s about awareness and action. it about affirmation, and empowerment. It’s about unity. Alone, our voices get lost, but together we create a conversation that is strong enough to be heard.

I can not express what an honor it is to represent all of you as a ONE campaign delegate to the Live 8 events in Philadelphia and the G8 summit in Scotland. Joining together with the millions of others around the world, asking the G8 leaders to Make Poverty History is a concrete example of the power of ONE.

Finally, If I can do it, you can do it. Believe me. There is nothing special that sets me apart from the rest of you. I'm just a 21 year old college student, and I'm not even majoring in anything remotely related to these issues. And I hope that's inspiring to you in some strange way.

I encourage each of you to stay involved. Sign the ONE Declaration if you haven’t already. Wear your white wrist bands and most importantly, keep the conversation alive.

Thanks.


(ahhh cue the cheesiness)

Merry Christmas

There’s just something about Christmas. It’s magical, enchanting even. I’d have to say that it’s my favorite time of year. Everything about the season, the traditions, the decorations, the smells, the sounds, the mystery... it’s wonderful! We got our first touch of snow the other day here in Oklahoma and it finally feels like Christmas. I've survived my numerous trips to the mall, enjoyed the lights around town, absorbed the aroma of fresh goods being baked in the oven, and have even endured the massive amounts of wrapping that I have needed to get done for some time now. It's here. Christmas is upon us. Tonight with my friends and family I will partake in some of the many wonderful Christmas traditions that I have come to know and love.. our Candlelight service at church, the big party at my house afterwards complete with cheesecorn chowder and cider, cookies, tons of kids, the search for "the pickle' and of course, the "talent time." (which I could do without, but alas, traditions are traditions). After everyone leaves my family will then go into our separate spaces to wrap last minute gifts and stocking stuffers.. then I'll sneak out late and put cookies and coffee by the fireplace because even though I know "the truth", there's still a part of me that wishes I still believed in Santa. There is nothing like experiencing the "magic" of Christmas through the eyes of a child.

When I think about the Christmas story I think about peace, love, redemption and wonder... and yes, even it's "magic." But this year particularly I think about it's message of hope.

Going to school at Belmont has been an amazing experience for me thus far, everyone is so talented and it’s quite humbling to be a part of such an extraordinary group of people. But at the same time, being surrounded by stimulating talented individuals 24/7 can become a bit intimidating. You wouldn’t believe it, there are kids here who take the air out of the room when they get up and perform. It’s ridiculous. All you can say is “wow.’ This has been a hard thing for me to deal with because while I feel that God has given me some gifts in this area, I know that I don’t possess THAT kind of talent. I don’t have a “wow” factor. I’m not exceptionally smart, I don’t have a musical gift that will knock your socks off, and I’m certainly not a “knockout” beauty queen! I don’t say this out of self-pity or cynicism, in fact, I really don’t mean to sound negative either. I suppose that I say all of this to give encouragement to all the lonely people out there who think their lives are merely “ordinary.”

With the Christmass story in mind, perhaps this is why I love Mary. She was so.. normal. So everyday. So.. plain. As far as we know she didn’t have some amazing talent, she didn’t have an IQ that was off the charts, and she wasn’t a beauty queen either. She didn’t have a standout “wow” factor, and yet God used her in a spectacular way. God chose to bless her with a “wow-factor” that would forever be remembered. The best part is that she never saw it coming, and I highly doubt that any of her friends or family could have predicted what God had planned for her. She was common. Ordinary. In fact, when I look at the Christmas story it became obvious that all of the main characters were ordinary. From Mary and Joseph, to their parents, to the shepherds, God didn’t leave anyone out!

Some days I just can’t wrap my mind around it. When God sent his son into the world.. his only son.. he put him in the care of ordinary people. He didn’t choose the smartest, the most talented, or the most beautiful individuals in Israel to look after the world’s most precious gift, He didn’t even choose people with prior parenting skills! And the first people to hear the glorious news of Jesus’ birth were shepherds! Lower-middle class workers, doing the night shift no less, were the first to worship the newborn babe!

Christmas is a time of hope. A time of expectation. A time when we can go to God and not only thank Him for His precious gift, but to marvel at the very way He chose to come. Our God is the God of the unexpected, and I for one am tremendously glad that He is. The very fact that He chose ordinary people over kings and queens gives me great hope. So this Christmas I choose not to focus on my shortcomings, no matter what they may be, but rather, I choose to rest peacefully in the hope that if God used ordinary people in extraordinary ways some 2000 years ago, then chances are He’s still using ordinary people today.

And THAT my friends, is enchanting.

"Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful "


In Christ it has all been done.


Merry Christmas.