Leaving?

Hello friends.

As many of you have heard (or have deduced by now), my time in Nashville is coming to a close. In about a month and a half I will head home for Christmas and I won't be coming back. Instead I'll be relocating to a place even I find difficult to believe: Austin, TX.

This decision brings with it many mixed feelings for me, but most are positive.

I have loved the majority of my time here in Nashville, but honestly the past couple of years have found me spending more time planning ways to leave and on harder days, wishing I had never come... and I really don't believe that life was meant to be lived that way. Don't get me wrong, I have few regrets, and I don't regret my time here. I've had some incredible experiences and have forged (what I hope will be) lifelong friendships. In truth, those friendships are part of what kept me here long after I should have left. I love you guys, and if there is anything I do not look forward to, it's those initial weeks of change that I'll have without you there. But at the end of the day I realized I've been unhappy here. .. and when I'm honest, I have to admit that I haven't been happy in a long time. (not that happiness is everything, but you know..)

When I sat down to consider what it is that was really keeping me in Nashville the primary response it kept boiling down to was fear. Fear that my music will die if I go. Fear that I'll miss out on something great if I leave. Fear that I'll hate whatever opportunity I take on next. Fear that I won't find equally great musicians to work with somewhere else. Fear that I will feel even lonelier than I have in Nashville..etc etc.

When I saw that as my reason for staying, I knew it was time to go. Because I never have, and never hope to live my life out of fear. I'm willing to be afraid, but I would much rather do it in the face of something new and potentially growing, than be held captive by it in a place where (it feels like) I've already died.

Once I was willing to let that go I started realizing a lot of other things, like the fact that I enjoy music when I am out doing it and I do (what I feel is) my best writing when I am out playing consistently, and that I find myself creating more when I am playing more.. and then the obvious: I make it a point to play out more when I am not here. Accepting this about myself and realizing that leaving Nashville could potentially be the best thing for my music, also made things easier.

So how does a gal who isn't big on heat, UT, or the state of Texas come to decide on Austin, you ask?
Well after spending a year causally entertaining various options, in the end it was a lot of little things rolled together: having my brother there, being a music city, having a manageable cost of living, finding free rent for a bit (woohoo!), being 5 hours closer to home, having extended family close by, having a small fan base in Tejas to work from, and one of my favorite perks: the central location..which will hopefully be beneficial when it comes to booking shows in various places... we shall see.


My reason for putting all this out there is 3-fold.
1. There was a time when I thought of leaving Nashville by stealing away into the night without a word, much less a good-bye. But that would have been running away, and that's not how I'd want to be remembered. Besides, but let's face it: I am, sadly, nothing if not sentimental. Nashville has held and shared the past 5.5 years of my life, and that alone deserves a good-bye. That warrants an explanation.

2. The closer moving day comes, the more I realize that there are so many people in Nashville that I want to spend time with before I leave. If you live in Nashville and this has found it's way to you, then you are probably included in that. These next few weeks will be crazy for me, but not to crazy to get some good chill time in... so please call me!

3. I'm not afraid of moving to a city where I know next to no one (obviously) but at the same time, it's always nice to have people you know you can call. So: Texas people, Austin people, consider this my humble cry for friendship. I've got references...

Well there you have it. As of this moment, it looks as though December 20th will be my last day in Nashville. I'm sad, but hopeful.. and yes, a little excited. Patty always said you should always know how long to stay and when to go.. and I think it's time to go.

Here's to change!
~Danica